My Triumphant Return

To some, two weeks off may seem like the perfect way to rejuvenate the mind, gather up your experiences and ideas and return ready to write. Unfortunately these are the same people who consider drinking on a Friday and a Saturday “a bender” and own gym memberships for purposes other than just keeping up appearances. And the only thing I’ve ever had in common with these people is the opinion that, deep down inside, they are not happy.

To me, two weeks off is the perfect excuse for taking another day off. Call it ‘the inertia of laziness’, the mind’s tendency to remain at rest when so thoroughly rested. Sure, there are other variables, like the lag in recalibration of my soul from an environment of hard working, altruistic people toiling under blue skies, making a difference in the world, to the current barren wasteland of humming laser printers and fluorescent lights where the first interaction I had when I walked in the front door after two weeks of being away was this:

Guy: “Dan, were you out on Friday? You never responded to my email.”

Me: (looking over my shoulder, positive he can’t be talking to me) “I’ve been away for two weeks.”

Guy: “Oh. Really? Where?”

Me: “New Orleans.”

Guy: “Oh, that’s right. Now I remember.” (pause) “So you didn’t get my email?”

Me: (holding jacket, looking at bag on my shoulder) “No. Not yet.”

Point being, I need a day. A day, two Vicodin and maybe a service revolver. But mostly just a day. So while I’m sure everyone is eager to know what it feels like to actually have an impact on the world and know deep down to your core that you changed someone’s life for the better, it’ll have to wait until I’m done with these TPS reports.

And while we’re here, a big thanks to the guest bloggers. I think we can all agree that they were terrific reads. Except for Heather’s, and she is being dealt with accordingly.