Monday, December 18, 2006

Time Magazine’s Person of the Year: Me

Time Magazine has announced that their person of the year for 2006 is . . . You. Not “you” like “the person reading this,” but you in the collective, in the one pronoun that doesn’t exist in the English language (except in the south) – “You” as in “yous.”

Time explains:

“We made Facebook profiles and Second Life avatars and reviewed books at Amazon and recorded podcasts. We blogged about our candidates losing and wrote songs about getting dumped. We camcordered bombing runs and built open-source software.”

Bravo, Time Magazine. Bravo. It’s about time someone recognized who really is leading this worldwide webolution, who the important people are. Rise up, Yous, and accept your honor. You are the Person of the Year.

And you!

Couldn’t forget about you guys!

You too!

Especially you!

. . . you.

Not you.

(Seriously, no MySpace? Gawker? Nothing?)


Blogger Miss Nines said...

You need to post something longer. This only kept me from work for 2 minutes!

I think we all know by now that African children don't get recognized until they overcome insurmountable odds and run Boston in 1:37:34. We do, however, recognize white guys who build houses and then cuddle on lounge chairs.

December 18, 2006 at 1:11:00 PM EST  
Blogger Airam said...

How sad.

December 18, 2006 at 1:14:00 PM EST  
Blogger DevilsHeaven said...

I want to say you're going to hell for making fun of the poor African kid, but damn if I didn't giggle at his lack of MySpace.
Save me a seat.

December 18, 2006 at 1:43:00 PM EST  
Blogger Beechball * said...

Awwwwwwwww... I just cried a little but I'll be okay. It's not like I'll ever meet the kid or anything, because like you said, he doesn't even have Myspace... GET WITH THE PROGRAM KID! ;)


December 18, 2006 at 2:01:00 PM EST  
Blogger Dan said...

Things I learned today:

1. I am generally perceived to be an asshole; and,

2. I am not good at writing incisive social commentary.

December 18, 2006 at 2:14:00 PM EST  
Blogger Debs said...

Of course not the kid in (presumably) Africa. He can't watch the 30 second ad for Chevy on before he reads the article about You. *And* if he could, let's be honest, he's buying a Toyota. Better gas mileage.

December 18, 2006 at 2:36:00 PM EST  
Blogger Homeless Blogger said...

Why does everyone assume that kid is African? Just because he is black? You people should be ashamed........
........he is African right?

December 18, 2006 at 3:23:00 PM EST  
Blogger kate said...

Best part of the whole thing is that Chevy or whatever ad before the article that specifically says "You may not be time's person of the year..."

oh yes I am. yes i am. read the cover suckers.

December 18, 2006 at 3:37:00 PM EST  
Blogger Mad William said...

Time Mag should be pulled from the market. "You"?

How lame can they get?

Lets just drop the big one on ourselves and be done with it. If Time is right, we're in for a slow and painful death.

December 18, 2006 at 4:19:00 PM EST  
Blogger Janet said...

Two things.

First, Time magazine is obviously suffering from a drop in subscriptions and needs everyone who has been getting their reading materical from the web for the last couple of years to pick up a copy while waiting in line to purchase whatever they eat while filming their pet iguana.

Second. I mean, I second miss nines.

December 18, 2006 at 5:14:00 PM EST  
Blogger dmbmeg said...

Apparently the cover is a mirror so you can stare at yourself.

I cannot wait for this week's edition to get to my apartment.

And yes, I have a subscription to Time magazine. What of it?

December 18, 2006 at 5:19:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're totally not an asshole and your social commentary is excellent. But then I'm biased because whatever you write just makes me want to have sex with you.

December 18, 2006 at 5:24:00 PM EST  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Booger eaters, idiots and some interspecies erotica.

Yep, we control the information age. Welcome to our world. We deserve to be recognized!

You! Little kid, move out of the way! There could have been another stupid video there! Damn you!

December 18, 2006 at 5:27:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Neil said...

Does this mean I can finally get all my news online from bloggers and drop my subscription to the increasingly-irrelevant Time Magazine?

December 18, 2006 at 5:33:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i thought that kid was going to be angie & brad's next kid. oh wait they alreay have one of those.

December 18, 2006 at 11:09:00 PM EST  
Blogger Tamara said...

personally, i enjoyed the whole "you" thing.
i am adding it to my resumé.
i am college educated AND time's person of the year. if i dont get hired- oh boy. i'll be irritated.

December 19, 2006 at 2:55:00 AM EST  
Anonymous jennifer said...

poor kid, literally and figuratively.......

December 19, 2006 at 6:51:00 AM EST  
Blogger greener said...

Oh my. First; you have a lot of free time don't you? How did you manage to find those?

But worse; i'm very disturbed by the girl who totally ruined how cute the puppy was.

December 19, 2006 at 10:32:00 AM EST  
Blogger NancyPearlWannabe said...

Well I, for one, was honored to be chosen as Time Magazine's Person of the Year. I'm just glad I finally got the recognition I deserve for helping out humanity. I mean, who else wants to be a middle school librarian? Someone's got to do it.

December 19, 2006 at 11:54:00 AM EST  
Blogger Shawn said...

We, I mean Us, I mean YOU -- Are so awesome...

December 19, 2006 at 2:48:00 PM EST  
Blogger Jules said...

Social commentary? How about the fact that there IS a word for "the collective you". It's ya'll. Or, as Katie Couric was so fond of saying, "You all."

That dirty girl with the dog was making me want to puke. Really. Blech.

December 19, 2006 at 10:07:00 PM EST  
Blogger sleepyrn said...

I see Jules is from Florida but that doesn't count as "The South" so she doesn't understand that "ya'll" is not a "collective you" since "ya'll" can be singular as well as plural.
Now "all ya'll" THAT'S the "collective you." One must hear southernese to believe it. Understanding it is a whole other story.

On the issues of Time shipping to the south east the person of the year should have been "ya'll" (singular). That would have sold some issues!! (but only if there were pictures helping to tell the story) OHHHHHH I'm going straight to hell when I die!

December 20, 2006 at 2:50:00 PM EST  

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