After yesterday’s post, I was having second thoughts about my plan of action. On the one hand, The Golden Globes only happen once a year. On the other hand, what the fuck was I thinking? Skipping two hours of “24” to watch Hollywood actors receive awards? To further convince myself, I made a chart detailing the reasons to watch each show. This is what it looked like:
The Golden Globes
• Attractive women wearing
• Things blowing up
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• The fate of the world in one man’s hands
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• Punching, stabbing, shooting, etc.
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• Conspiracy, general mayhem
Needless to say, I made the right decision. While I am totally pissed I missed the acceptance speech from the producers of “Happy Feet,” I think it’s worth the trade-off of seeing an atomic bomb detonated in Los Angeles.
Anyway, I’ll refrain from turning this into a “24” chatroom. But I will say that if I was the head writer for “24,” this is how the last scene would have played out:
Scene: Numair completes work on the suitcase nuke. One of the guards sees the TAC teams and gunfire erupts. Ray ducks to the ground. Amid the shooting, Numair detonates the nuclear device. From where he is, Jack can see the mushroom cloud in the sky.
Jack: (on his phone) “Get me the President.”
President: (watching the mushroom cloud on the monitor) “I’m here Jack.”
Jack: “Mr. President, we have a problem.’
President: “I know, Jack, I can see it on the monitor. Hundreds of thousands of lives are in danger. We need to evacuate these communities immediately and get a ground team in there to secure the –“
Jack: “Mr. President, that’s not what I mean.”
President: “What is it, Jack?”
Jack: “Mr. President . . . tonight was the Golden Globe Awards.”
(Cut to scene of The Beverly Hilton, movie stars milling about, unaware of the impending chaos.)
Boop, beep, boop, beep, boop, beep . . .