Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Carnitas Burrito Causes Me To Rethink Global Warming

By and large, I am a huge fan of global warming. The way I see it, global warming is Earth’s way of saying, “Relax! Enjoy the weather!” as each rising degree in annual average temperatures serves as a stepping stone in a path towards a time and a place where we as a civilization can drink mojitos more than three months a year. Truly, Earth appreciates the old adage “Quality, not quantity.” As in, “200 warm years are better than 200,000 cold ones.”

But if the cold weather has one redeeming quality, besides sustaining the delicate balance of nature, it is this: I walked the five blocks down to Chipotle today for lunch and by the time I got there, my face frozen and my balance a little off because I couldn’t feel my feet, I braced myself for my entrance into what is usually, at this time of day, a mob scene – a line wrapped around the entire perimeter of the large room, tacos falling off trays, out of people’s faces, and workers frantically shoveling rice and beans into tortillas with a look on their face that says, “Maybe poverty isn’t as bad as people make it out to be . . .”

Today, however, as I rubbed my hands together and flung the door open, there it was in front of me. Nothing. Emptiness. The physical representation of everyone too warm to leave their offices. Four people on line and scarcely any diners at the tables. I rubbed my eyes like they do in the movies to make sure what they are seeing isn’t a mirage. Here it was, laid out in front of me like a Mexican offering, the ultimate benefit of actual winter-like temperatures: Inexpensive burritos, on demand. It’s enough to justify reinventing the mojito as a cold weather cocktail.

39 Comments:

Blogger Miss Nines said...

Chipotle? On the east coast? Are you sure they aren't just handing you a Subway sandwich with some Tapatio thrown in? You New Yorkers and your mediocre Mexican food...

On a side note, I embrace cold weather as it allows for the essential purchase of several chic winter coats. Too each his/her own.

January 30, 2007 at 1:03:00 PM EST  
Blogger DevilsHeaven said...

I've tried the mojitio based on your raves about it, and as they said in A Knight's Tale with yummy Heath Ledger, " You have been weighed, you have been measured, you have been found lacking....."
As for the mexican food, the mexican place down the street from us is so "authentic" the INS would have a field day. I embraced the cold weather until the twits cancelled the lunch time margarita special!!!!

January 30, 2007 at 1:21:00 PM EST  
Blogger Dan said...

You know who loved mojitos? Ernest Hemingway. You know who probably wouldn't like you? Ernest Hemingway.

January 30, 2007 at 1:27:00 PM EST  
Blogger Miss Nines said...

Ernest Hemingway is not a man to be crossed.

Hemingway was also a fan of the Bellini. Your thoughts?

My thoughts. Bellini = Deliciousness personified.

January 30, 2007 at 1:30:00 PM EST  
Blogger NancyPearlWannabe said...

Among the dazzling array of inexpensive burrito places in Boston, I find Chipotle to be mid-range. Anna's, however- that I would walk five blocks in the sub-Arctic weather for.

January 30, 2007 at 1:38:00 PM EST  
Blogger sleepyrn said...

I'll be long dead when the people on the atlantic coast of iowa are scuba diving through my house having discovered the lost city of Murrells Inlet.

As for mojitios I'll stic with cervecas - mas cervesas

January 30, 2007 at 1:41:00 PM EST  
Blogger Eric said...

You instantly lose credibility when you quote A Knight's Tale.

January 30, 2007 at 1:55:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Global warming is the Earth's way of saying, "Relax, enjoy the weather". If only that were true.

January 30, 2007 at 2:25:00 PM EST  
Blogger LC said...

What is this Chipotle rage going around?

It's the third blog where I read people getting all worked up and actually defending chipotle's authenticity.

I am certain it's good though. I read about it so much that I wouldn't mind someone fedexing me a damn burrito already!

I'm living right by the border (in the US side), so access to actual mexican food is easy for us.

I know the power a burrito can have on a person. It is quite alarming when a Chipotle (or any mexican restaurant) is empty.

January 30, 2007 at 2:40:00 PM EST  
Blogger Dan said...

I wouldn't call it "authentic." It's not like they cook their tortillas on hot stones in the noon-day sun. But it's good. And all their prices add up to a round number, like $7.25 or $8.50. Because I hate change.

January 30, 2007 at 2:53:00 PM EST  
Blogger Miss Nines said...

Then leave it there, Dan.

January 30, 2007 at 3:00:00 PM EST  
Blogger Miss Devylish said...

I leave the corporate places, even the Mexican corporate ones, to the college kids, which is easy cuz the only Chipotle place is on the Ave waiting in anticpation for the lunch-time onslaught of UW students. I, however, like a little more authenticity in my Mexican food and lean to an Oaxhacan place in Ballard run by a tiny (literally) Oaxhacan family and that place is always packed. It's incredibly cheap and really good food, everything homemade including the mole sauce. I pity you way over in New York. Their margaritas are divine - but I'm certainly not against a good mojito either.. and to whomever didn't like it, I have to say you probably didn't get a very well-made one.

January 30, 2007 at 3:02:00 PM EST  
Blogger LC said...

Perhaps the word I should've used is Chipotle's quality over other mexican food chain restaurants?

I've *read* people defending it against another one that I don't recall the name right now. I think it starts with a Q.

We don't have Chipotle over here, so I don't know. But there is a war going on about defending 'In n' Out's honor.

I'm hungry now. Global warming or not, I want food.

January 30, 2007 at 3:06:00 PM EST  
Blogger Dan said...

Let's say if Chipotle were a woman, I would date her for a really long time, but we would break-up and get back together a few times and then I would cheat on her, but I would tell her about it because I couldn't lie to her, and we would try to make it work, but in the end we would realize that we'll just never be able to spend our lives together.

Now back on point people, the planet is melting under our feet, come on.

January 30, 2007 at 3:13:00 PM EST  
Blogger SAILOR MOON said...

Hey Dan the Man, Well I must tell you that you should be visiting the Central America's because I just came back frm a mini-vacay from my country Nicaragua, and the prices would make your mouth drop and salivate at the same time. Because of their lack there of an economy, prices are low (to us anyway) and food is high! $1 there is worth 18 cordovas. So when you wanna eat a taco over there its pretty much 40cents over here. And we might not make Mexican burritos, but we make some mean ass quesillos (promounced: k-c-yos)
You should try lookin up a "FRITANGA" in your neighborhood, cause honestly we are everywhere. Here is a link to some of the Fritanga's in miami by where i live - i am surprised they knew how to make a web site.....sorry did i jsut dis my people...oh hell ...

http://www.fritanga.com/

January 30, 2007 at 3:15:00 PM EST  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Ah. Now I want Moe's. Where they yell at you every time you walk in the door, and where they serve margueritas from a squishy machine. I would also like a good mojito. Preferably with real sugar cane in it. I'm blaming you for my longing distraction at work.

January 30, 2007 at 3:17:00 PM EST  
Blogger SAILOR MOON said...

ps I forgot to talk about teh mojitos - which to that i say "tastes like pooter", why not a Flor de Cana extra light rum n ginger ale..hmmmmm

January 30, 2007 at 3:24:00 PM EST  
Blogger DevilsHeaven said...

Since I was absolutely crushed by the fact that the brilliant yet suicidal Hemingway would not like me(hardly I say, hardly) simply because I've not found a mojito I could love, I Googled "Mojito" and found this site: http://www.bacardimojito.com/home/default.aspx
The story of the origin is amusing, but still leaves me unconvinced. And seriously, instead of slamming me for not liking mojitos, you could have simply offered to make me one to change my mind. Geez!

January 30, 2007 at 4:02:00 PM EST  
Blogger MaryAnne said...

I love how everyone is getting worked up about the quality of a burrito... yet no one cares that in 100 years, New Orleans will not be the only city that is sinking.

January 30, 2007 at 4:14:00 PM EST  
Blogger undercover celebrity said...

Chipotle and mojitos -- my two favorite things on the planet! I, too, would be in favor of stopping global warming if the lines at Chipotle were shorter. Maybe that could be the theme of Al Gore's next campaign.

January 30, 2007 at 4:15:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Chipotle were a man, I'd put its burrito in my mouth.

January 30, 2007 at 4:33:00 PM EST  
Blogger bob said...

Chipotle, formally a wholly owned subsidiary of McDonalds, was spun off earlier this year and came to market as an IPO with an insider price of $22 a share. The price of Chipotle (symbol CMG) closed that day around 45. An 100% increase in one day!! (That's like betting on black in roulette).

I guess people are right, burritos are popular!

Jack-in-the-box (the shithole California buger joint) owns the other up and coming burrito joint called Qdoba. Right now it is a wholly owned subsidiary like Chipotle used to be w/ McDondalds. There are whispers of a Qdoba IPO coming soon. The only way to get in on that "insider share price" for the IPO is to buy shares of Jack in the Box, the mother company.

My two favorite things together at last, Burritos and Stocks!!!

January 30, 2007 at 4:52:00 PM EST  
Blogger bob said...

Oh and as far as Global Warming goes...

Well you all should thank your lucky stars that Bush won this past election. Imagine how cold it would be if Gore had won!!!

January 30, 2007 at 4:54:00 PM EST  
Blogger last free exit said...

Freebirds rules, Chipotle can suck it. Just like all good Mexican food, you have to come to Texas to get it (or, you know, Mexico, but that sounds an awful lot like work). Someone told me that there's a Freebirds in California, but then you'd have to leave your gun at home.

Oh, and global warming is bullshit, so you're in luck. There, I said it.

And before I get blacklisted (do they still do that?) for my small-minded, red state views, just wanted to say that I love your blog--it has prevented hours upon hours of billable work.

January 30, 2007 at 7:22:00 PM EST  
Blogger Boobs Radley said...

chipotle + global warming = "greenhouse gas"

January 30, 2007 at 7:50:00 PM EST  
Blogger Ki Two said...

I've heard people call it "kai-pottle," but I've never been there. Qdoba is pretty good stuff. They have naked burritos. Maybe they could have been part of your sex week. :)

January 30, 2007 at 8:14:00 PM EST  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Whatever, chipotle is amazing and I'd walk five blocks in the cold just for the chips and guacamole.

And global warming is nature's way of saying "Relax and enjoy the flip flops and the pedicure"

January 30, 2007 at 11:39:00 PM EST  
Blogger Laaw-yuhr said...

Oh you yankees. You talk your shit about mojitos and burritos, like you have a clue. My 29 years as an authentic Texan leads me to believe that you are no authority. Chipotle *pales* to Freebirds, but they don't have those in your part of the world. I could talk more shit to you, but in a few years my home will be under water, so I guess you win.

January 31, 2007 at 12:34:00 AM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've always thought Chipotle sucks. There is far better Mexican food to be found, even on the east coast (where I am actually from, so this is not a "west coast is superior" thing). If I wanted a bland burrito filled mostly with rice, I'd make one myself.

January 31, 2007 at 7:50:00 AM EST  
Blogger Dan said...

Why would you make yourself a bland burrito filled mostly with rice?

January 31, 2007 at 9:53:00 AM EST  
Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Chipotle is the debil. But a tasty debil...

January 31, 2007 at 12:05:00 PM EST  
Blogger LC said...

Burritos aren't really mexican. If you go to Mexico, they don't sell burritos, they sell tacos, and even though they can be made in big-ass sized tortillas, they are not burritos.

I don't really know where the whole burrito concept was originated, perhaps in Texas?

I'm sorry if I sound snotty.

January 31, 2007 at 1:02:00 PM EST  
Anonymous delish said...

Qdoba is amaaaazing. Mmm Mmm Mmmmmm

January 31, 2007 at 2:00:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually lc, you are correct. Burritos would be considered Tex-Mex food. Anything piled with guacamole, cheese and sour cream can be considere Tex-mex... not authentic mexican food.

January 31, 2007 at 2:01:00 PM EST  
Blogger kat said...

Sadly... I was all about trying the Chipotle until I read Bob's comment and saw it's run by the fine upstanding people of the McDonald's corperation.

And I place a small amount of many of our problems today (including global warming) on McDonald's.

So... no Cipotle for me. Damn. Too bad, because it sounds really good.

February 1, 2007 at 4:07:00 PM EST  
Blogger Miss Devylish said...

I second what Kat says.. another reason to stay away from fast or even close-to-fast food. I don't, however, recall saying west coast mexican food is superior.. but I'll make up for it and say it now. Or just imply it. :)

February 1, 2007 at 8:28:00 PM EST  
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December 11, 2008 at 2:46:00 AM EST  
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June 3, 2010 at 1:27:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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June 3, 2010 at 1:30:00 PM EDT  

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