Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Report: Americans “Eh” On Anal Sex

I’m finally getting around to reading the Esquire–Marie Claire tag team Sex Survey in the February 2007 issue of Esquire (stripped down version here). By and large there were no big surprises: Men masturbate more than women, Men pay for sex more than women, Women cheat less than men, HIV is still scary, blah, blah, blah. But then I came across this chart, and it just seemed odd to me:


I’m not going to pretend I’m an expert on the subject of anal sex (or women for that matter). But my guess is that there’s really no such thing as liking anal sex “a little.” It’s not like saying you like capers “a little” or Radiohead “a little.” There’s a dick in your ass. You probably have an opinion on it one way or the other.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think they’re actually asking about size.

When it comes to anal sex, women enjoy “a little” one.

January 23, 2007 at 2:11:00 PM EST  
Blogger Kate said...

LOL at anonymous!! Well and the whole post in general.

January 23, 2007 at 2:20:00 PM EST  
Blogger Neil said...

Shouldn't these numbers add together to be 100%?

January 23, 2007 at 2:30:00 PM EST  
Blogger Miss Nines said...

I suspect that the women who answered "a little" made the mistake of taking the survey while their partners were in the room.

Scene: Two lovers sit on the couch following another episode of "24." The woman is on her brand new, sexy MacBook Pro, filling out a sex survey. Her boyfriend looks over at her screen.

BF: "But honey, I thought you said you liked when we did anal..."
GF: "Well, um I guess I do. A little..."[Aside: "Goddamnit, I've just perpetuated the myth even further! I'm buying a privacy screen tomorrow."

January 23, 2007 at 2:30:00 PM EST  
Blogger Denyse said...

from the survey:

What are your biggest fears when having sex with someone for the first time?
1. HIV
2. My performance
3. STD (other than HIV)
4. Pregnancy
5. Emotional entanglement
6. The wrath of God
7. Partner's performance

1. HIV
2. STD (other than HIV)
3. Pregnancy
4. My performance
5. Emotional entanglement
6. The wrath of God
7. Partner's performance


January 23, 2007 at 2:37:00 PM EST  
Blogger Dan said...

I also love how women care more about STD than their own performance. Maybe we'd stop giving you STD if you put a little more effort into your performance, hmm?

January 23, 2007 at 2:48:00 PM EST  
Anonymous 8675309 said...

I think I just heard your mom fall off of her chair again.


January 23, 2007 at 3:04:00 PM EST  
Blogger Kelly said...

Sometimes it can be good, and other times... not so much. In that case, it would be "enjoys a little."

Also, was Anon said.
Gentlemen: size matters.

January 23, 2007 at 3:05:00 PM EST  
Blogger Denyse said...

if the folks filling out the survey are concerned about the "wrath of god", maybe we should take the results with a grain (pillar) of salt...

January 23, 2007 at 3:41:00 PM EST  
Blogger Brandon said...

oh i see what they're saying. whenever my wife performs anal sex on me, she usually seems a bit ambivalent. unless she's dressed up as a police officer. then she seems to get into it. proclaiming my innocence and offering her money to stop also seems to get her worked up.

January 23, 2007 at 3:51:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The thousands of dollars we spent on private CATHOLIC education just went down the toilet. Literally.

January 23, 2007 at 4:45:00 PM EST  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Well, it's not altogether strange that the women surveyed put STD's ahead of their performance. I mean, look at the answers. None of them seem to actually enjoy most sex, even beyond anal. If you'd rank most sexual activities right up there with watching a television show that isn't your favorite, but you like well enough, why would you bother to put an effort into it? You can save yourself the trouble and go watch mediocre tv.

January 23, 2007 at 4:46:00 PM EST  
Blogger 123-I-Love-You said...

Anonymous, you stole my joke! And I had it all planned out!

As for anal sex, I think that I'd enjoy it little.

It's amazing the difference that a simple "a" can make. In this case, it's the difference between gay and straight.

January 23, 2007 at 5:38:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I want to know is why only 42% engage in it but 51% enjoy it a little and 19% enjoy it a lot. Um, doesn't that mean 70% are engaging in it? Maybe it's hard to do math with some dude at the back door.

January 23, 2007 at 7:30:00 PM EST  
Blogger sleepyrn said...

I'm more interested in the "sex in public" category. How public? I mean like public! public? - as in people around - or out in the middle of a park where no one can see you public(I vote for the second type and have been almost "caught" any number of times - several times by mere seconds - literally! That's part of the enjoyment.) But in "public???"

January 23, 2007 at 7:51:00 PM EST  
Blogger Airam said...

123 - I love you ... it's hard for me to stick up for you about not being gay when you leave comments like this on another blog!

January 23, 2007 at 9:23:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For those who were wondering:

In surveys like this, the first number (Yes) is compiled from all those that said they engage in it. "Like it a little" and "Like it a lot" breaks down the yeses...

So basically, of the 42% of people who say they engage in anal sex, 51% of that 42% "Like it a little," 19% of that 42% "Like it a lot," and 30% either don't like it, or didn't qualify their experience.

My question is, why would those who don't like it engage in it?

That completes our anonymous statistics lesson for today.

January 23, 2007 at 10:00:00 PM EST  
Blogger SAILOR MOON said...

DEar Anon the most recent Anon) Well, the only way to find out if you like is to try it. Like that Butterfinger icecream that taste just like the real deal. You wither like it or you dont...

Or, in 99.9% of the cases, it all starts with lines like this: "Come on, lets just see what its like"

And......im out

January 23, 2007 at 10:13:00 PM EST  
Blogger NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

When I did my time in "the joint" I must admit I enjoyed it "a little" if he was gentle.

January 23, 2007 at 10:39:00 PM EST  
Blogger Jay said...

It's an interesting point you make, maybe it's a new-millennial attitude of trying anything, but only half-heartedly

January 24, 2007 at 2:00:00 AM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The scare/fun-iest story of this nature I heard came from a redneck coworker of mine. Her bf wanted the backdoor every night until the one time she liked it. Then he wanted it no-more. She did it when she didn't like it because she was a cow.

January 24, 2007 at 8:34:00 AM EST  
Blogger Julie_Gong said...

I know for a fact that I like anal sex only a little.

January 24, 2007 at 9:55:00 AM EST  
Blogger Denyse said...

wrath of god? is that a new S&M thing? (Ok, i'll let it go now.)

19%--good to know i'm not a freak, just a minority.

January 24, 2007 at 10:39:00 AM EST  
Blogger DevilsHeaven said...

This is my feeling on the whole anal thing. Guys, until you have a dick stuck up your ass, don't 'ass'ume that it's great for both parties invovled.

This is of course directed at the straight boys on the blogg.......

January 24, 2007 at 11:28:00 AM EST  
Blogger the girl also blogs said...

Liking it a lot = asking for it

Liking it a little = tolerable/letting him have it when he wants it about 65% of the time

January 24, 2007 at 1:10:00 PM EST  
Blogger team gingerbread said...

I've personally never heard of someone (female at least) who was totally indifferent to anal which is what the numbers would suggest. I'm pretty partial to it myself, but whenever the subject is broached with some of my friends the ubiquitous response is always something to the effect of "It's like [cottage cheese], I don't need to try it to know that I don't like it!"

January 24, 2007 at 2:05:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've enjoyed it a little and I've enjoyed it a lot--all depends on the guy--but I've never not enjoyed.

January 24, 2007 at 5:29:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what I love about this post. There are people who hang out with Dan on an occasional basis, who often post comments. None of them have posted a comment on this thread. Unless they are doing it anonymously. Are they afraid of Dan knowingly they like, or dislike anal.

January 24, 2007 at 8:23:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Sailor Moon, from Statistics Anon... :)

I guess it's a question of semantics. To me, trying something one (or maybe twice) to see if you like it, is not engaging in it.

Engaging in it implies regular participation, to me at least. Therefore, why do people who don't enjoy it "engage" in it.

I, personally, usually like it. However, inappropriate size is usually the "biggest" problem... LOL

Sorry big guys, you're SOL.

January 24, 2007 at 9:02:00 PM EST  
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