Jazzercise In The Face Of Death
Climbers relied on exercise, pep talks
SALEM, Ore. - The three hikers rescued after a fall and an icy night on Mount Hood said Wednesday their survival techniques included exercise and pep talks.
Climber 1: “I’m so thirsty. Do we have any water left?”
Climber 2: “No, we ran out a couple of hours ago.”
Climber 3: “Why don’t you go for a run? That will help.”
Climber 1: “I don’t know, I’m not a very good runner . . .”
Climber 2: “Stop it! You are a terrific runner! I saw you run that one time we were at the beach and you looked great. Now go sweat out all that thirst and insecurity!”
Climber 1: “You got it!”
posted by Dan |
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15 Comments
15 Comments:
Just because its Wednesday doesn't mean you have to write the suckiest post ever.
Boooooooo This post!!!
Lets just hope that Thursday's is better.
True Fact: Mt. Hood claims more victims whose only climbing equipment turns out to be a six pack of Steel Reserve and a soft pack of American Spirits than any other mountain in probably the world. In fact, I think these folks were 'rescued' by a seeing eye dog whose owner had returned to the United Way Senior Center of Multnomah County van to replace his coat with a North Face windbreaker.
Boooooooo You Brandon!!
A-1, is that a threat?
I will throw down for Dan.
miss nines,
You can't deny the high level of suckiness in today's post.
Not so much of a threat. More like, a pep talk from a drunken Irish dad.
A-1
It doesn't have to be long to be good (that's what she said!).
Think of this post like a blog Haiku, except that Dan is not Japanese and is mysteriously enraged zen Koans.
Why does Mount Hood sound like the title of a porn?
Just me? ok.
Dan, it really did suck today. Try harder.
Don't listen to A-1. He is just an A-hole.
I laughed - nuff said!
Sailor scout
i hope their pep talks were liberally sprinkled with "whoa, bayside!"-style huddles.
I expected them to eat the dog.
Jeez, people. Give the guy a break. It's not easy to write when your girlfriend is getting her fetish on.
re: the dog -
"She'll get some extra dog treats," Bryant said. "Maybe even a nice bone."
I'll bet she will, Bryant.
I'll bet she will.
I dig your writing Dan.. you're a funny guy.. but personally, I think it's rather tacky to poke fun at a situation like this. A friend of ours lost her husband along w/ 2 other climbers on Mt. Rainier a year or so ago. The climbers on Mt. Hood were experienced, but luckily the 5 that fell over the ledge had the dog to keep them warm. It saved their lives. They knew the risks of winter climbing, but still.. it's sort of cruel to make fun of people who probably wondered many times if they'd live to make it off the mountain. Just my opinion tho.
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