Thursday, March 22, 2007

Catching Up With [redacted]

Writing about writing is pretty taboo. Not taboo in the “unacceptable” sense, just taboo in the “it’s really stupid” sense. I’m pretty sure for the majority of people reading writing about writing is boring, just like reading about reading, or singing about singing (unless you are Gloria Estefan). It’s the literary equivalent of tracing your hand on a piece of paper and making it a turkey. But hey, let’s finally talk about the elephant in the room.

Guys, I have a blog.

I guess it’s no big secret that I started here. I’m assuming the majority of the 20 or so people who read this site followed me from The Daily Dump, a phenomenon that should be studied by sociologists all over the world as evidence that familiarity trumps quality every time. Like when you move into a new house and buy new furniture and new appliances, but you still use the same old ratty cum stained blanket on your bed. Because that’s what you’ve gotten used to all these years. Well friends, I am that cum stained blanket. And that blanket is growing up.

Check out the site today and you’ll see a blog post by yours truly. Why is this significant? Well for one thing it’s the first time I’ve been asked to write something for a website, at least one that doesn’t have in the url. It’s a pretty neat feeling when someone comes to you and says [I’m paraphrasing], “Hey, I loved what you did with that foot nipple, maybe you’d want to try writing about travel for us?”

On top of that, it’s going to be a recurring thing, at least until they wise up and say, “OK Dan, you just used the ‘hiking is like interracial sex’ analogy in the last post. You think you could come up with something new?” And then, after the ‘kayaking is like interracial sex’ pitch falls flat and the restraining orders are filed with the court, then maybe it will stop being a recurring thing. But for now you can expect one or two posts a week. My goal is to make it to Easter.

So my first one is up today. It is decidedly drier than the tripe I spin here, but that has more to do with me being a talentless hack than any editorial constraints. I’ve been assured that I have a longer leash than I think, which is awesome because for a second I completely forgot that I had a leash at all. I guess that’s the allure of a blog – being your own editor, sitting down with yourself late at night with a mug of coffee debating the ethical consequences of running the piece on flambéed cock. But there’s something to be said for doing it this way too, where there’s someone standing over your shoulder politely suggesting that maybe flambéed cock has nothing to do with visiting the pyramids in Egypt. Because when you think about it, it doesn’t.

And finally, I’m going to come out and say it: I miss Q&A Fridays. It’s like I had a child or a car stolen from me. I loved Q&A Friday. So I think what I’ll do is instead of making it a weekly feature, I’ll just collect questions over the course of time and when I have four or five good ones I’ll throw a Q&A post together. What this means is that you need to submit more questions by emailing me here. And here. Oh, and here too. God, I love when someone emails me there.