On my way back from the bathroom just now, I walked past the glass doors of another office on our floor and saw that they were having some sort of party. I didn’t want it to seem like I was spying, but of course I was curious to see what kind of cake they had, so I made pretend I had to tie my shoe. Only just then a woman was coming around the corner to go into the office, and there I was kneeling right in front of the door untying my shoe so that I would have to tie it again. So then I had to do this weird thing where I am mid-tie, but feel, at the same time, that I have to move. So instead of letting go of the laces, getting up and moving, I remain holding both laces just as they are (loop in one hand, excess string in the other) and practically stumble backwards, because I have no balance while holding my shoe laces and trying to walk. The result of course is that I don’t move back nearly as far as I should have and the woman, in a rush to make it to the party before everyone finishes the cake, has to squeeze past my crotch-high face to get into their own office. Basically what was meant to be a simple recon mission ended with me nearly performing oral sex on a woman.
On the bright side at least there isn’t a giant foot nipple at the top of the page anymore.