Level One: The guys holding the blue velvet ropes.*
Level Two: The guy in the middle of the blue velvet rope rectangle.
Level Three: The marketing director for EOS airlines, who decided it would be an innovative, eye-catching campaign feature to send out a bunch of douchebags to march around overcrowded streets forming a large, velvet-roped rectangle around one particular douchebag to suggest how roomy their planes are.
I don’t have a picture of him, but I assume he looks like this:
Bonus Level: This guy, who may be the first black douchebag ever.
* Before I recently purchased one, I used to think camera phones were lame. Just like I thought Clap Your Hands Say Yeah was overrated until I started listening to them and that girl in my British Literature: 1650-1870 class was ugly until I got drunk one night and made out with her at the bar. It’s not that my opinions are shallow and entirely self-centered, it’s just that there are so many things in this world that you have to form an opinion on and I have found that not liking something is an easier default than liking something. That way there is less responsibility to explain yourself. You have to have reasons for liking something, but you can always not like something because “It’s stupid.”