Friday, June 8, 2007

Which of These Pictures Makes You Happier?


It’s a trick question. Because nothing can possibly make you happier than the first picture. Unless you’re a “good person” or a “Christian,” in which case you may pick the second picture. And then you’d go on and on about how puppies are a gift from God. Well you know what else is a gift from God? Justice!


Blogger DevilsHeaven said...

I can't wait to hear what ailment she has that makes her so special that she got to go home, instead of to the hospital ward of the jail.

June 8, 2007 at 4:09:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Dan said...

Rumor has it it was a stress-induced herpes outbreak. In my medical opinion, I'm not sure whether or not stress can actually induce herpes. But I'm positive herpes can induce stress.

June 8, 2007 at 4:13:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Dan said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

June 8, 2007 at 5:21:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Dan said...

I assumed it was either herpes or coke-withdrawal, but I can't imagine that she's the first crack-whore to ever go to jail. Do all the crack-whores get to leave jail when they get sad?

-A different dan

June 8, 2007 at 5:23:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well let’s be honest, with all the stuff she must have available at her residence, "house arrest" is nowhere near equal to anything jail has to offer! It's like grounding a child to their room after they have been bad and then they just spend the whole time playing with their toys (no pun intended in Paris's case).

Shyia (anonymous commenter because I myself am too lazy to blog, myspace, whatever..)

P.S. I do love puppies, but God gave us these gifts to “survive.” Looks like they are doing more surviving than us!

June 8, 2007 at 9:08:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agreed Dan, agreed

June 8, 2007 at 10:54:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a "Christian" and the first one still makes me happy! Justice makes me happy! Therefore, her early release makes me angry!


June 8, 2007 at 11:35:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You insensitive green-eyed blood-thirsty executioners. Do you realize that in prison they don't allow you to Wax OR moisturize. I can only imagine the suffering to which Ms. Hilton is being subjected. NO WAXING!! Come on can you imagine the crotch shot as she steps out of the cruiser on day 45?!?! The horror. On a positive note, we're likely to get a more interesting sex-tape out of her in the upcoming month or two.
(PS - Don't bother praying for her, according to God her soul is no longer in his jurisdiction)

June 9, 2007 at 12:25:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Mr. Shain said...

i commend paris hilton's hysterical crying today. what else could have brought such a divided nation together to point it's collective finger a cunt and laugh? only paris, or maybe britney.

June 9, 2007 at 1:29:00 AM EDT  
Blogger JP said...

Why is this vapid whore eating up air time? She offers nothing!

June 9, 2007 at 2:41:00 AM EDT  
Blogger sleepyrn said...

I agree with JP - like Anna Nicole, Paris is a slut and deserves nothing but our contempt. Now, having said that, I am a Christian and should not be judging anyone but Christian or not I am still human still think she deserves all the justice she gets.

June 9, 2007 at 8:26:00 AM EDT  
Blogger mindy said...

Hahaha. Those are awfully cute puppies, but I still like the Paris shot better.

June 9, 2007 at 10:32:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Vegas Princess said...

Amen. I can't get enough of that incredible photo. Every time I look at it, it makes me smile.

I believe her ailment it Blackberry withdrawal.

June 9, 2007 at 9:41:00 PM EDT  
Blogger jason said...

I believe Shakespeare was correct when he said, "Karma is a bitch." But let's flash forward to the crush of attention that will come her way when she gets out. She's too stupid to be chastened. She will be more notorious than ever and the papparazzi squad will double. She shot to fame for sucking a guy's cock on camera, how could a month in jail do anything but enhance her fame? Paris Hilton, much like the poor, will always be with us.

June 10, 2007 at 12:47:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Julie_Gong said...

A little piece of my cold heart melts when I see Paris Hilton crying.

June 11, 2007 at 9:30:00 AM EDT  
Blogger mm said...

I pick the puppies.

For the record, I don't like Paris Hilton. However, her punishment is overly harsh. I've been caught driving on a suspended license a couple times and I never had to serve time. They're just trying to make an example out of her and its not right.

June 11, 2007 at 10:09:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

She is crying because all those extensions are gonna be ripped out of her head.

June 11, 2007 at 1:45:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mm says he/she has been caught driving with suspended license and did no jail time....I'm wondering if mm showed up late for the court appearance, further thumbing his/her nose at the justice system. These things tend to aggravate a judge and result in a sentence that may otherwise be deemed "overly harsh". She got what she deserved. Lohan is next.

June 11, 2007 at 4:03:00 PM EDT  
Blogger blythe said...

"I ... felt as if I was in a cage." - Paris Hilton. I'm not sure which picture makes me happier, but I know which one is smarter.

June 11, 2007 at 5:02:00 PM EDT  
Blogger mm said...

Anon: I showed up on time for my case. Still, 45 days is harsh. I can understand locking her up for a week or so.
Lohan would be more deserving of jail time, as she destroyed public property while high on drugs. She's probably going to be fucked, actually. It sucks because I actually prefer lohan to paris.

June 11, 2007 at 5:46:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like to make fun of Paris as much as the next guy but what's with the slut, whore and cunt name calling?

So she was caught on film... next time you get famous try to keep your sex out of the public eye. good luck.

Another non-virgin you can call me Ms. Slut

June 11, 2007 at 6:10:00 PM EDT  
Blogger LSL said...


June 12, 2007 at 6:58:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am against the ridiculing of Paris. The pleasure that all of you so enthusiastically take in watching a human literally become insane is shameful.
I hold all of you responsible for the deplorable state of this country's collective morality.

June 12, 2007 at 9:27:00 AM EDT  
Blogger DevilsHeaven said...

To the last anon who holds us all responsible, PLEASE. It's on very single channel, every radio station, you can't hide from it, assuming you are of course an active member of society. I have no control over other people's morality, and neither do you. Because apparently, if you did, none of this would ever have happened and Paris would still be just a model who also happens to be an overtly rich heiress.

June 12, 2007 at 11:33:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Jenni said...

Hallalujah, Bitch's in jail.

Maybe this will make her a better person...Eh, who am I kidding.

Now if we can just get that Lohan chick behind bars...

June 12, 2007 at 1:56:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Fuzzy No Nose Chimp said...

I heard on the news today that the average woman costs about $99 a day to be in jail. She's over $1,000 because of "special needs."

This is why I'm a proponent of the death penalty.

June 12, 2007 at 2:24:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Meow said...

Actually, did you know that the death penalty costs us more than "life in prison" because of legal fees and holdups?

June 12, 2007 at 4:51:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Dan said...

"Actually, did you know that the death penalty costs us more than "life in prison" because of legal fees and holdups?"

Maybe for normal people, but as Fuzzy noted, keeping Paris Hilton in jail costs ten times as much. Surely the death penalty is the smart move in her case, economically speaking of course.

June 12, 2007 at 5:52:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


June 13, 2007 at 6:57:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know what makes me happy? More than one posting a week

June 15, 2007 at 2:04:00 PM EDT  

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