Friday, October 12, 2007

Leggo My Ego!

You’ll have to excuse me. I’m hungover. [insert disappointment from mother] Brooke and I had a housewarming party last night for her co-workers. Brooke’s office is 95% female, so the gathering consisted of me, Brooke and eight other girls. By the end of the night I knew all about the Fall fashion line-up, how to plan a wedding and whose arch enemies recently had abortions. It was fascinating, but not nearly as fascinating as how much they could drink. They drank like pirates. My pounding headache is impressed.

I had a whole list of things I wanted to get done today, including adding some new things to the site. I figure it’s about time seeing as how it’s been almost a year since I started it and the last time I added anything besides a post was about one year ago. But I’m moving a little slowly with this hangover, so it’ll have to wait. What you can look forward to though is some surprising new sidebar content (so surprising I don’t even know what it is yet), and some new links to other blogs. You’ll notice I already added a link there to my column on, which started a few months ago but I never bothered to mention assuming that the editors of Esquire would have caught their mistake by now. Like, “Wait, who’s Daniel Murphy. You were supposed to hire Paniel Murphy!” But along the way I worked my way into their hearts, one random act of violence at a time. Now I have a weekly column, and if my editor Eric ever wants to see his vintage vinyl collection again, it’ll stay that way.

Now, to balance out some of the self-promotion, here’s some altruistic promotional material. (the site from this post) got a hold of another blog that I really enjoy called She Just Walks Around With It. I don’t know what the “It” is, but I have to assume it’s something sexual like a vibrator or Chlamydia. Otherwise what’s the big deal that she walks around with it? Anyway, so far Kristy is doing pretty well, leading all voters. But I think she can do better. So go vote for her and let’s make sure she brings it home.

The best part? That they are giving away BIG prizes this month. When I placed second in August after our near miraculous push at the end, I won $25. This month? First prize is A LASER PEN. Not the cheap kind either – the kind that can do serious retinal damage. I can’t think of anything Kristy needs less. So let’s make sure she wins it.

And finally, a little something for the readers.

I’ve already commissioned her to do the score for “[redacted]: The Movie”.


Blogger Robert Piercy said...

Hangovers... ahh the joys of alcohol. Funny how it never seems to satisfy for the long term. Always hangovers, emptiness, regret, and dissatisfaction. There is something better.

October 12, 2007 at 2:14:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Dan said...

No, no. This is the fun kind of hangover. Where you stuff your face with pizza and think you can taste God.

October 12, 2007 at 2:20:00 PM EDT  
Blogger fort knocks said...

Drinking with eight alcoholic beauties? Life could be worse, I think.

October 12, 2007 at 2:21:00 PM EDT  
Blogger DevilsHeaven said...

OMG, that was horrid. The hair, the uni-tard, the cheesy "dance" moves. I hope to goodness she was embrassed by herself.

October 12, 2007 at 2:36:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Rachel said...

You have a knack for finding the best bad videos around. How *DO* you do it?

October 12, 2007 at 2:48:00 PM EDT  
Blogger molls said...

will the cast of "[redacted]: the movie" also be required to wear fanTAStic glittery ice-skater costumes? I think it would add flavor to the film...

October 12, 2007 at 3:15:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Faith said...

How can someone be so flat and not hear it? The tune was being played FOR HER over the sound system, even!

Her acting was fantastic, though. Unfortunately, I had to stop the video when she started the Charlie Chaplin imitation, as my brain started to seep out of my ears at that point, and my boss hates it when that happens, so I try to keep brain seepage to a minimum...

October 12, 2007 at 3:23:00 PM EDT  
Blogger craziasian said...

oh my god that is my sister from her more popular years.

October 12, 2007 at 3:24:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Anastasia said...

I'd have to completely disagree with the first commenter. hangovers are great because they displace your other problems, and all you need to be happy is gatorade and an egg sandwich.

October 12, 2007 at 4:47:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Lori said...

I like her ecclectic mix of acting, dancing and trumpeting. That is a trifecta rarely witnessed outside the pageant arena. How has Broadway not snapped her up for a one-woman show? With talent like that on board, you may want to consider [redacted]: the musical.

October 12, 2007 at 5:35:00 PM EDT  
Blogger k said...

Thanks for the shout-out, Paniel.

October 12, 2007 at 6:13:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Denyse said...

was that the star wars theme? I could have swown it was the theme from born free...

October 12, 2007 at 6:17:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Simply Curious said...

Hey. I just found your blog, well blogger found it and I followed the link. I enjoy your writing. I'll be back. Hangovers should only be called hangovers if you still feel drunk at 2:00 in the afternoon the next day.


October 12, 2007 at 6:59:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Name: Tessa said...

Congratulations on the Esquire column! Too bad I don't read Esquire.

October 13, 2007 at 12:58:00 PM EDT  
Blogger 123-I-Love-You said...

Esquire??! Ahhhh yeah!

October 13, 2007 at 2:56:00 PM EDT  
Blogger gruntsht11b said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

October 13, 2007 at 5:19:00 PM EDT  
Blogger gruntsht11b said...

party of 8 chicks booze and one dude thats hooah. you ever wanna fight the guy who snaked your blog name im down.

October 13, 2007 at 5:25:00 PM EDT  
Blogger GirlyWarrior said...

I think she'll do wonderfully at the soundtrack to "[redacted] The Movie" in fact, I don't think you could have found anyone better. Shit, she should have a starring role also, her dramatic expression really shook me to the core. Wow.

October 13, 2007 at 5:44:00 PM EDT  
Blogger vid's said...

That's an interesting video

October 13, 2007 at 7:54:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Check out the camel toe, or moose knuckle, whichever you prefer, on that Star Wars-nerd, beauty queen!!

October 13, 2007 at 9:53:00 PM EDT  
Blogger chimerastone said...

You should try the google whack game.
But two random words and see what you get.

October 14, 2007 at 12:56:00 PM EDT  
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October 14, 2007 at 9:05:00 PM EDT  
Blogger kismetic said...

I will read your blog but I draw the line at a weekly Esquire column. $10 says you just found someone with your name who writes for them and you're pretending it's you.

October 14, 2007 at 10:03:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Tanya Bennett said...

randomly found your blog... you know how it goes, s'posed to be working of course! Have decided you are my new source of inspiration (and maybe the occasional spot of plagiarism) for witty writing, since mine mainly consists of ate/drank/worked today..! You know that the hangover is not complete without the cloud of shame though?!

October 14, 2007 at 10:30:00 PM EDT  
Blogger ~ Ms. Cute Pants ~ said...

Come to Bermuda where all anyone does is drink. Hangovers are an every morning event.

October 15, 2007 at 10:52:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Mookie said...

wow, she was GREAT!! I'd love to see her show, but there's a cat convention the same night, darn...

October 15, 2007 at 10:54:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Eric Monse said...

Who can argue with big prizes!

October 15, 2007 at 6:04:00 PM EDT  
Blogger valiantqueen said...

It is extremely rare when I can't force myself to watch something horrible to the end...This "trumpeter" and Johnny Depp's The Astronaut's Wife! Just...can't...doit!

October 15, 2007 at 9:46:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Confessions of A Drama Mama said...

that was very painful to watch & hear, on second thought I might not watch the movie with her doing the score:)

October 26, 2007 at 1:02:00 PM EDT  
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