Friday, October 19, 2007

My Sensitive Side

Well I had hoped to have a post up much earlier on today about all these awesome new developments taking place on [redacted]. Then a few things got in the way of that. First, my boss gave me a project to do this morning that included numbers (really? on a Friday?) so I didn’t have time to finish developing all the awesome new . . . developments. But also, they’re not awesome. So I’ve had what you might call some roadblocks.

Luckily I’ve never been one to shy away from adversity unless it involved potentially tiring myself, so I spent the last hour coming up with the two new sidebar features: “Now Reading” and “Now Watching.” And if you can’t guess what kind of stuff I will write about there, then how are you not falling out of your chair right now? I think it will be fun, because I do very, very little with my life besides read, watch TV, eat and . . . well, four things would seem stressful anyway. Also, I plan on adding a “Now Listening To” section shortly, as soon as I can figure out the HTML code for an itty bitty audio player. I tried and it didn’t work. Back to the drawing board.

So this is all you get today. You can check out the new article up at Esquire here, which includes an instructional pooping video that will possibly change your life. I like to think this is how I serve humanity. That, and with Soylent Green.

One final note: I can’t let Brooke’s post go without at least a minimal response. You see, I didn’t buy her a new poster for two reasons:

1. Because I forgot, but 2 is much better I swear.

2. Because where’s the romance in a story about a guy losing a girl’s poster and replacing it? That’s not romance. That’s cold, hard rationale. And everyone knows rationale is the cold bowling ball that cramps one’s weighted loins. Replacement? My heart doesn’t understand the word. What my heart knows is passion, whimsy, danger. Make amends? My love seeks its own justice. And what my love knows (because it prefers wisdom to knowledge any day of the week) is that sometimes a stolen item between two people can be the most unifying of bonds – especially if that item is one’s heart.


Blogger Derek James said...

Greatest love song of all time :D well done, Dan. Love the blog!

October 19, 2007 at 5:36:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Native Minnow said...

I relate more to reason one.

October 19, 2007 at 5:43:00 PM EDT  
Blogger SAILOR MOON said...

Oh my gosh .... I love Celine it true shes not giving shows in Vegas anymore?
I love your love quarrel youve got going on in ur personal life. Too funny

October 19, 2007 at 7:30:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Blue Rose Gypsy said...

I love the song, nice blog!

October 19, 2007 at 9:09:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just watched the entire video. I think I am going to go shoot myself in the face now.

October 19, 2007 at 9:30:00 PM EDT  
Blogger molls said...

way to wax poetic in the last paragraph there. very nice.

October 19, 2007 at 9:50:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Manda said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

October 19, 2007 at 11:01:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Manda said...

Reason One is better. Nothing says romance like the brutal truth. Leave it up to us girls (women?) to save up wrongs men have done to us for a special/certain occasion. And yet, somehow the heart still goes on.

October 19, 2007 at 11:02:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

okay i am on dialup, so i never watch the video shit ( no, I do not live in the hinterlands, I am just on a shut up)

but was that the "I'll always love you" shit?

because if it was this is WAY WORSE than I thought and Brooke should just bail now. No poster? Failed attempt at humor with CELINE DION?

Tell me it was better than that..


I hate men.


October 19, 2007 at 11:34:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sometimes a stolen item between two people can be the most unifying of bonds – especially if that item is one’s heart.

oh shit! that's better than porn.

(so sweet!)

October 20, 2007 at 3:36:00 AM EDT  
Blogger R.E.H. said...

Sugarcoating Dan. This post was quality sugarcoating. :)

October 20, 2007 at 2:17:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah yeah yeah.. excuses. Just go buy the damn replacement.

October 20, 2007 at 4:08:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF? Celine Dion? I'm a chick and that shit blows. I hope you don't put that in your 'What i'm watching/listening to' development.

October 20, 2007 at 8:09:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Katie said...

thanks for getting Day Man stuck in my head this easy Sunday morning. Even better because I just ordered season 1 and it's taking OVER A MONTH to get here. Radical. Strong work on the new additions.

October 21, 2007 at 4:49:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Kelly said...

Seriously didn't think the video would be Celine Dion and now the damn song is stuck in my head. Thanks Dan.

October 21, 2007 at 3:33:00 PM EDT  
Blogger SAILOR MOON said...

wow that DAy man really got stuck. I cant believe you watch it. Its funny but damn... i expected you to laugh at funnier shit than stupid funny comedy. I bet you liked all those scary movie parody's huh? All those Wayne brother movies? sure you did.

October 21, 2007 at 3:48:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

We all have a thenthitive thide.

October 22, 2007 at 10:32:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Alison said...

I'm sure I have a thenthitive thide. I get teary about my nephew... but what the?
sometimes a stolen item between two people can be the most unifying of bonds – especially if that item is one’s heart.
I smack my forehead in your general direction :|

October 23, 2007 at 3:00:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Hey! Thanks for making me throw up a little!

October 23, 2007 at 9:48:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yay for the reading part...i love to see what other people are reading!

October 23, 2007 at 12:46:00 PM EDT  
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