Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Christmas Wishlist: Volume 1

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What: Thumbelina, the World's Smallest Horse

Why: While other boys growing up wanted Big Wheels and dirt bikes, I wanted a horse. I thought it was a practical alternative to the dangerous, gas guzzling hot rods everyone else was riding. Plus, I reasoned, it would teach me responsibility, companionship and a ton of intangibles like how to tie up a horse, how to feed a horse and how to ride a horse. Unfortunately, my dream never came true.

Over the years, I have resigned myself to the notion that, for the foreseeable future at least, I will not own a horse. My back yard is too small and the roads too dangerous. Then I read an article about Thumbelina and thought, How ideal. Of course, I won’t be able to ride her. But Puppy will.

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How: It won’t be easy to get Thumbelina. I made a few quick calls to her owners in St. Louis and all they said were things like, “You want what? To buy her? No, she’s not for sale,” and, “Is this the same guy that just called? Why are you using a Jamaican accent? Please stop calling here.” Difficult, to say the least.

My suggestion would be to infiltrate their farm and do some recon work. I’ve already signed up for the Thumbelina Friends Club, which promises exclusive emails directly from Thumbelina herself. Perhaps you could become her confidant and then lure her off the farm, like how I used to meet girls off MySpace. I know it sounds risky, but in return you will have the pleasure of owning THE WORLD’S SMALLEST HORSE. Seriously, think about it.

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This year’s ultimate gift giving guide will be spread out over the coming weeks. Keep coming back to stay current on all the awesome gifts for you and your family and me this holiday season.

15 Comments:

Anonymous paul said...

Oh, I can tell this is going to be even better than Oprah's favorite things...can't wait!!!

December 4, 2007 at 5:02:00 PM EST  
Blogger Native Minnow said...

I figured you'd be asking for the world's smallest unicorn.

December 4, 2007 at 5:44:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you sure you're not gay? I don't know a lot of guys who wanted ponies growning up.

December 4, 2007 at 6:05:00 PM EST  
Blogger Airam said...

This post reminds me of your days on your old blog. Loved the photos ... you are the king of photoshop!

December 4, 2007 at 6:41:00 PM EST  
Blogger sid said...

Ooooh you have just given me a gret idea as how to trick guys into falling for me.

December 5, 2007 at 5:09:00 AM EST  
Blogger Julie_Gong said...

1. I just had a conversation about always wanting a Power Wheel as a young lass. So does this make me a boy and you a girl?
2. Puppy looks like she* is having a totally awesome riding that mini pony!


*I am assuming Puppy is a girl because I feel all dogs that small and delicate are girls.

December 5, 2007 at 10:16:00 AM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Puppy is a man, a bit of a fop, but a man nonetheless.

December 5, 2007 at 1:29:00 PM EST  
Blogger Faith said...

I would so, soooo love it if *someone* sent my parents or one of my siblings a miniature horse for Christmas. That would be priceless!

December 5, 2007 at 3:56:00 PM EST  
Blogger Faith said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

December 5, 2007 at 3:56:00 PM EST  
Blogger Manda said...

Have you been keeping up to date on Knut? The once loveable polar bear?

December 5, 2007 at 8:57:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Knut Murphy admirer said...

I love that the last commentor noted Knut. I was logging on just to tell you that Knut is now one and ask you how it felt that anonimous people in cyber-world associate you with the adorable polar bear.

December 6, 2007 at 3:22:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are hilarious...but i LOATHE that little dog you always write about. people that have little dogs? yuck

December 6, 2007 at 10:52:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Rachel said...

I think you are hilarious... and I LOVE that little dog you always write about. People that have little dogs? Yum!

December 7, 2007 at 11:36:00 AM EST  
Blogger Joanna said...

I say you get a large man purse and carry Thumbelina around in it. Get her a spiked collar or something.

December 7, 2007 at 12:50:00 PM EST  
Blogger Poodle said...

get this pony and brooke just migh marry you

December 10, 2007 at 10:09:00 AM EST  

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