Monday, February 25, 2008

My Five-Second Review of The 80th Annual Academy Awards

Hold gaze on photo for five seconds.

P.S. Seriously though, I think Jon Stewart did a great job. Considering what he had to work with, he did the best he could. Like Schindler, he couldn’t save them all.

And the Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova performance (and subsequent win for their song “Falling Slowly” from the movie Once) was awesome. And Marketa Irglova, the musical savant with the stones to come BACK out on stage to deliver a heart-felt acceptance speech even after the orchestra cut her off during her allotted time? Yeah, she’s only 19. Here’s what I would have done if put in that situation at age 19: Crapped myself.

Anyway, right after Marketa won the award, Brooke went on to Wikipedia to see how old she was. She was astonished to notice that, mere minutes after it had happened on live TV, the Wikipedia page was already updated to indicate that she had won an Oscar. Which made me realize this: That there is a whole sub-culture of Wikipedia entry writers, people who anxiously await the changing minutiae of life so they can catalogue and record it for the rest of the world. And these people probably sat in front of their computer for the entire day preceding the Oscars opening up a whole mess of Firefox windows (probably spread out over several computer screens) and editing the Wikipedia entries for every single contestant to indicate that they won an Oscar (except for everyone competing against Daniel Day Lewis). Then, instead of saving the changes, they sat there waiting for the awards show to start, with their finger hovering over the “Save Page” button like Jesse James’ itchy trigger finger, reaching for another Red Bull from a fridge located close enough to the command station to not need to remove the finger from the mouse in order to grab a new can, absolutely needing to be the one who tells the world that Javier Bardem won an Academy award for his work in No Country For Old Men. And then I felt bad for these people, because how pathetic is that?

Then I began to wonder, Who is more pathetic? A Wikipedia entry writer or a blogger? On the one hand, someone who can’t take personal recognition for the time and effort they put into their work and remains satisfied with simply knowing that information is being shared freely and openly amongst cultures across the world; on the other, me – with a profile, email address and cropped photo in the upper-right hand corner of my blog about my life, headlined by a relatively humorless photographic representation of my short-sighted personal opinion about an award show honoring people who have worked harder and achieved more than me.

Then I realized it wasn’t me, because I got laid last night. Booya!


Blogger Jamie Lovely said...

I couldn't even bring myself to watch the Oscars.

Definitely not a blogger, because I am one and I just bought a new puppy yesterday so I win!

February 25, 2008 at 5:11:00 PM EST  
Blogger Dan said...

NEW BLOG RULE: If you get a new puppy, you must email me pictures. STAT.

February 25, 2008 at 5:18:00 PM EST  
Blogger -J said...

Wouldn't it be logical that it was someone's publicist or something that updated such things? Although, I am sure there are devoted fans to handle this type of thing too.

February 25, 2008 at 5:19:00 PM EST  
Blogger Anna said...

There was totally an Onion article about the editing wikipedia thing last week. I was sitting (alone) in a bar (waiting for a friend, thank you) and read and starting giggling to myself.

February 25, 2008 at 5:53:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The last sentence made me spit my beer all over my screen. Thanks, and hell yea bloggers win!

February 25, 2008 at 6:35:00 PM EST  
Blogger k. said...

oh sweet, you finally updated. i've been hovering anxiously over my laptop so i could update your wikipedia page.

February 25, 2008 at 7:12:00 PM EST  
Blogger Plexus said...

I somehow got out of a sticky situation thanks to you. Here I am in a top-20 newsroom, supposed to have my pulse on the beat of the city and here I am reading your critique of the Oscars.

The last line had me laughing a little too hard. And you're right, you got laid by a woman who pretty much digs you....most of the time. So I think you win.

February 25, 2008 at 10:11:00 PM EST  
Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

I think in writing terminology, You put the Hook at the end... Very Edgy of you....

February 26, 2008 at 6:41:00 PM EST  
Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

Also, Robin very well may be Gay, but you cant convince me that Batman would go along with it...

February 26, 2008 at 6:44:00 PM EST  
Blogger A Lil' Irish Lass said...

I'm thrilled to finally find someone else who appreciated that song from Once. I saw the movie a few weeks ago and fell in love.

February 27, 2008 at 12:14:00 PM EST  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Here's to bloggers getting laid and wikipedia nerds getting . . . allergies? I don't know. Fuck those dorks.

February 27, 2008 at 8:55:00 PM EST  
Blogger Joanna said...

You live in Miami now - update your profile!

February 28, 2008 at 1:08:00 AM EST  
Blogger Nicole said...

They don't move to Miami until March 1st.

February 28, 2008 at 4:27:00 PM EST  

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