Friday, April 25, 2008

Ne-PHEW!

So I’m back in New York this weekend for my newly birthed nephew’s christening. For those of you who haven’t yet accepted Jesus as your personal savior and all-around great guy, a christening is when you baptize the baby by pouring holy water over their head in an effort to “wash away” original sin. It’s kind of like a full-term Afterlife Insurance policy. So when they knock over a convenience store 20 years from now, all they have to do is confess their sins and all will be forgiven (whereas if they were still shackled to hell by original sin, God would be like, “Well, it says here you weren’t christened, sooo, not sure there’s much I can do for you. Would you like a mint?”)

Besides all that, this was the first time that I was meeting my nephew. I think it went well even though I was a little nervous coming in. I mean, we don’t have that much in common right now. I’m worrying about making rent and filing my taxes and he’s worrying about things like his skull hardening over and figuring out what his hands are for. I figured I would stick with topics we’re both sympathetic to, like change and transition, i.e. I just moved to Miami, so I’m dealing with a new apartment, new friends, etc., and he just moved out of his uterus, so he’s adapting to his own sort of change like not breathing amniotic fluid and meeting other humans.

Overall, I’d call it a decent first impression. I can’t really tell if he likes me, seeing as how he bawled when I held him the first time, but in all fairness to him he was wearing a diaper full of crap. I’d cry too. I’m also a little concerned about his sense of humor. He cries when he’s hungry, cries when he’s pees, cries when he’s tired . . . you know, it’s like Lighten up! He doesn’t even laugh when he farts! I laugh when I fart. I think it’s hilarious. The only time I’ve seen him smile is when Brooke set the dining room table. I didn’t get the joke. (Maybe he’s British?)

Anyway, sorry for the bland week here. But to make it up to you, here’s a series of pictures of Puppy enjoying his time here on Long Island.

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Enjoying a healthy breakfast! Mmmm!

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Catching some rays.

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Coming inside for a refreshing beverage.

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Sharing a cold one with his best buddy.

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Preparing for an envigorating walk!

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Afternoon playtime.

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Ready for a nap after a hard day of fun.

20 Comments:

Blogger Dana said...

Hah! Thanks Dan. You'll make a terrific father, I'm sure.
:)

April 25, 2008 at 3:40:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dan is super sexy. Do you have a twin?

April 25, 2008 at 3:54:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Miller Lite?!?!

Oh, Puppy. You can do better than that.

April 25, 2008 at 4:13:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Arielle said...

The sad and hilarious thing is that I've actually seen people in New York walking dogs in strollers. Once it was a pretty large basset hound. I wonder how they signal like "Hey, umm, I need to get out and pee now."

April 25, 2008 at 4:47:00 PM EDT  
Blogger uncomplicatedly said...

i've gotta say, this blog satisfies me on basically every level. it's funny, it's not too long-winded, and when dan's out of ideas, we get dog pictures! good show, sir.

April 25, 2008 at 5:53:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Falwless said...

Holy crap you're hot.

I mean funny. Funny.

April 25, 2008 at 8:32:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Katie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 26, 2008 at 3:34:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Katie said...

I thought the first sign of your Uncle chops was this wonderfully bad joke: Oh, and did I tell you about the time in the lake I passed the mind blowing wind? But snaps to you for also mastering pet tricks. You're going to be a hit with the kiddos in your fam for years and years.

April 26, 2008 at 3:41:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brooke, take note: Dan is clearly practicing for fatherhood with all these pics :-)

April 26, 2008 at 7:03:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

Nice! As far as stuff you guys have in common you also probably both agree on Boobies, I know babies love them some boobies and as per your boobe day Eve post I think you do also.

April 26, 2008 at 7:28:00 PM EDT  
Blogger mindy said...

It looks like Puppy REALLY enjoys playing with that baby mobile. With no assistance or anything! It's amazing how quickly they grow up, isn't it?

April 28, 2008 at 11:25:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that last pic made me feel like i violated puppy...and i liked it

April 30, 2008 at 12:30:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous VanCity Girl said...

Everyday I love you (and Brooke, and Puppy) just a little bit more...in a non-creepy way :)

April 30, 2008 at 1:04:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Plexus said...

Seriously, I'll tell you what I told my sister before she found out she was pregnant with my wonderful niece: you will either be a terrific parent, or that child will be so utterly neglected because you pamper the pets much more than the kid.

Glad and slightly surprised there hasn't been a post yet devoted strictly to cockroaches.

April 30, 2008 at 3:00:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Kate said...

Silly puppy, baby stuff is for babies!

Love the posing of silly puppy in the baby stuff.

April 30, 2008 at 11:27:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Princess Sophia said...

Ok, Miami Mondays??? Umm, it's wednesday night dude...some people on this earth depend on your wit and humour and stories to get them thru the week. Please help!

April 30, 2008 at 10:52:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've finally spied someone with forearms more hairy than mine!

May 1, 2008 at 3:14:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Caitlyn said...

I would have expected Puppy to have a glass of Dewars or something. A Vesper, perhaps.


And I am buying that shirt for my next boyfriend.

May 15, 2008 at 10:00:00 AM EDT  
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