Thursday, May 1, 2008

Mission Accomplished!

I’ve made this blog suck for the week. It was hard work, but I did it.

I’d like to thank my Delta Airlines pilot, who I’m pretty sure got us lost ON THE RUNWAY at JFK. I’d also like to thank the cashier at Publix (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) who nearly killed me with incompetence when I had to check out twice (because the first time it “didn’t do nothing.”) I’d also like to thank my West Coast tax guy – just in case I’m worried about being bored and under-stressed in the coming years, that audit you’re setting me up for will do just the trick in the lazy days of ’09. And finally, I’d like to thank Jorge at Brickell Honda. Some people may think that knowing how to do your job is an asset, but if that was the case then we wouldn’t have gotten to spend such an extraordinary amount of time together in the past two weeks. Brooke thinks you have a crush on me. I think you’re missing a chromosome. (And you love coming to our apartment for the free water.)

Great work everyone. Now let’s just hope the guy with the anvil standing on the roof outside my front door doesn’t go and mess it all up.

14 Comments:

Blogger Amanda said...

I'm sorry you had a sucky week but I for one enjoyed your retelling of it.

Thanks for the giggle!

May 1, 2008 at 1:55:00 PM EDT  
OpenID notsojenny said...

makes me feel a little less crappy about my week... only a little though

May 1, 2008 at 2:58:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm really happy I didn't make the list.
xo

May 1, 2008 at 6:03:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Hector said...

I had to show two forms of id, in addition to my credit card, when I picked up a pizza at Papa John's. So I cracked wise about it. The girl gave me the Rosie Perez head moving side-to-side motion and said,

"I ain't come to work to listen to you get all nasty. Mm-hmm."

It was awesome.

What? I thought we were sharing stories of woe.

May 1, 2008 at 8:17:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Wait a minute...is that sarcasm?

May 2, 2008 at 10:21:00 PM EDT  
Blogger -J said...

You have a guy with an anvil? Dude, that's so fucking cool.

May 5, 2008 at 5:48:00 PM EDT  
Blogger sid said...

It's a shame that your bad luck makes me smile.

May 6, 2008 at 1:48:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Jadeny said...

Where oh where is Dan?

May 6, 2008 at 9:36:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Nicole said...

Did Miami not have a Monday this week? That's odd. Richmond didn't either. Must be an East Coast thing. xoxo's to Puppy!!

May 7, 2008 at 12:14:00 AM EDT  
Blogger k. said...

hey hey i miss miami mondays

whither art thou, [redacted]?
(frolicking with puppy per usual, i presume)

May 9, 2008 at 11:24:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Chatty said...

Dan, I want to apologize. I have enjoyed your site a LOT (in fact, I have you listed as one of my favorite links on my blog), but I have never left a comment.
That's bad. For which I apologize.
Henceforth, I will leave more comments, because I love the way you write.
I particularly feel for you having read your latest post.
I know what it's like. I just don't express it as hilariously as you do!

May 10, 2008 at 8:24:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Nicole said...

Dude!! Where are you? Are you and Brooke back on the cafe con leche?? Slowly put the beverage down and just walk away!! Your blog friends miss you!

May 11, 2008 at 1:18:00 AM EDT  
Blogger elle&ry said...

Dude, I'm growing old waiting for a new post xD Moooove your geriatric ass!
:)

May 11, 2008 at 12:44:00 PM EDT  
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December 11, 2008 at 2:49:00 AM EST  

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