In our efforts to be healthier and cook our own meals instead of constantly ordering take-out, Brooke and I decided to make chili the other day.
(Ed. Note: We use the more liberal definition of “healthy,” i.e. not from a can and not containing any chemicals currently banned by the FDA and/or salmonella. Though in truth we just couldn’t pass up those delicious looking tomatoes despite the recent salmonella “outbreak,” of which Brooke and I both use air quotes when referencing it to people, as though we are the only ones who understand that it is a scam run by the onion farmers to scare up business.)
Anyway, the chili was a couples’ effort, and we each had our assignments. One of Brooke’s was to chop the jalapeño pepper. Brooke, not a seasoned (get it?) chef, sliced the pepper and cleaned out the seeds with her bare hands.
A few minutes later, her fingers began to burn.
Brooke: “My thumbs hurt and it’s weird.”
Dan: “It’s the pepper. There’s a chemical in there that sticks to your skin and causes it to burn.”
Brooke: “Get out, really? I didn’t know that’s how it worked.”
(begins washing hands)
Brooke: “Man, it really hurts. They could make a weapon out of that stuff.”
Dan: “They do – it’s called pepper spray.”
* Bonus revelation! While we were in
Dan: “I guess key limes must be a specialty in Key Wes-”
Brooke and Dan: (simultaneously) “Ohhh…”