Tuesday, July 15, 2008

An Inspirational Pep Talk from Coach Taylor That I Could Have Used To Write A Blog Post Today*

“Son, you’ve done everything I’ve asked of you. You’ve done your work, you’ve caught up on your emails, you even called your mom back after about the fifth voice mail message. But son you’d better listen to me when I tell you that if you expect to succeed – at anything in life – by doing ‘just enough’, then you’re mistaken, alright? You’re mistaken. You’ve got readers out there, people who are relying on you to distarct them from work.

So I don’t know, go do whatever it is you do. Go write some haha jokes, find a funny video out there on the internet. Heck, go take some picture of your dog. (What is that thing? Is that a dog? Really?) Anyway, my point is I’m proud of you, son. But don’t let that go to your head.

Now get out of here.”

* As long as I am still having dreams about “Friday Night Lights” (Oh, Lyla…), then you can expect posts like these. And if you’re all, “But this is stupid, I don’t even get it,” then here’s what you do: grab your left wrist with your right hand, and, using only your right hand, force your left hand to slap yourself in the face repeatedly. Then go watch the show.


Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

I was just about to pack it all in but then I read this.... and now I think there is hope in this world afterall... thanks DAN

July 15, 2008 at 4:27:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Having followed the instructions in your footnote, I'd just like to say that you've got a hell of a lot of nerve slapping me in the face like that.

How dare you, sir.

July 15, 2008 at 4:36:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Average Guy said...

Clear eyes, full hearts can't lose, Dan. You are an inspiration.

July 15, 2008 at 5:14:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Painkiller Jane said...

Kyle Chandler was bad ass in, "Early Edition," and he's bad ass in, "Friday Night Lights." He was the object of my lust in my teenage years, and... yeah, he's still the object of my lust.

July 15, 2008 at 5:38:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, how I miss Coach Taylor. But my dreams are more about Riggins. I can't wait until the show comes back on!!!!

July 15, 2008 at 10:59:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Maursupial said...

I actually started watching the show yesterday because of your blog and now I am in love. Thank you so much for helping me waste a day and a half and walk around with an inner dialogue all with a Texan accent.

July 15, 2008 at 11:23:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous paul said...

This is actually brilliant...I'll accept it as an actual post!

July 16, 2008 at 7:31:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Native Minnow said...

What if you're left handed? Does that mean you have to grab your right wrist with your left hand, then use your left hand to slap your own face?

(I'm not left handed. I'm just concerned about your left handed readers.)

July 16, 2008 at 11:29:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Katie said...

Thank you for introducing me to a show I can't watch, but can torture myself watching little clips on YouTube (and no, I can't even find the DVDs here...) Matt Saracen? MAKING ME SORRY I NEVER MADE OUT WITH THE QUARTERBACK EVERY SINGLE DAY.

July 16, 2008 at 12:01:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Hadley said...

I love Coach Taylor!

Tim Riggins, mmmm

July 16, 2008 at 1:13:00 PM EDT  
Blogger blythe said...

Let me tell you somthing, FNL is an awesome show even if it is set in Texass. I can't wait to buy it on Amazon after NBC gets all retarded and finally cancels it.

July 16, 2008 at 1:16:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Julie_Gong said...

damn you average guy... you totally stole my comment.


Yes I am screaming that!

July 16, 2008 at 4:48:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Jenni said...

It's funny, my pep talks usually involve the token alcoholic of the show, Buddy Garrity (Why is every drunk named "Buddy?")
The pep talk usually goes something like this...

"That's right Jen, go ahead, have another gin and tonic, you don't want to be the LOSER that nobody wants to talk to because you don't know how to have any fun, do you? How about you listen to your drunk friends and let that random guy do a body shot off you...That's a good girl...Later we can go to my van that's parked in a dark alley and I'll give you some candy and soda pop..."

July 17, 2008 at 12:34:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Epitome of Sweetness said...

I LOVE that man..

July 17, 2008 at 1:05:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Tessa said...

Is this show about anything besides football? Whats the premise?

July 18, 2008 at 10:14:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Amber said...

Unless I was drunk (which I think I was a little) ya'll (see the Texas rubs off) can watch full length episodes on NBC.com. SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, GO DO IT!

July 19, 2008 at 11:51:00 AM EDT  
Blogger k. said...

two words: texas forever.

also the taylors are my favorite married couple in the history of tv married couples.

July 19, 2008 at 5:06:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Leezer said...

The only thing that surpasses your love for FNL is my love for FNL.

I read this article http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2008/07/major-friday-ni.html and was bummed that Santiago won't be back. Good god I'm such a dirty old woman.

If I wrote for the show I'd have the graduating seniors stay in town and work for CVS or Food Giant.

July 21, 2008 at 10:11:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Vishaka Natascha Gleeson said...

Wow. Way to go dan. Are you going to blame JetBlue again? You better. Your nanny-nanny-poo-pooing is definitely amusing. You should try the Aus version, Jetstar - hey, You're 250 grams overweight! That'll be 45 dollars pleas! Whats that? thats half the price of your ticket? Hey, It's in the contract!

July 22, 2008 at 7:35:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Victoria said...

Oh lord. I sure as heck could use...would *die* for a Coach Taylor pep talk right now!

July 23, 2008 at 12:27:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Lauren said...

"go write some haha jokes"

That slays me. Don't worry; Tami will come in and smooth things over in some kind of busty wrap dress.

July 24, 2008 at 9:09:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, where are you? At least with The Daily Dump you gave us a farewell post Are you just going to leave us hanging with this inspirational speech?...It's a nice touch, but I would prefer some posts

July 24, 2008 at 1:03:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, yes...the Daily Dump. Now THAT was a blog worth calling the next day.

July 25, 2008 at 2:55:00 PM EDT  

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