Tuesday, November 4, 2008

John McCain Needs My Help

A few weeks ago, I was coerced into signing up for the McCain campaign’s mailing list in order to make my own Joe the Plumber rally sign:

Totally worth it. But ever since then, I’ve been forced to experience the unexpected terror of receiving periodic emails from John McCain and Sarah Palin. Today, I’ve already received three, the last of which contained the following:

It almost made me feel bad for them. Until I scrolled farther down the page and realized that they were actually sending out voter’s names and telephone numbers to who knows how many strangers. And not just normal strangers, but strangers like me!

Still, I decided that such a personal plea for help couldn’t go unassisted. After all, the hallmark of democracy is the idea of equality, and what kind of citizen would I be if I staunchly supported one candidate without at least lending the smallest helping hand to the other?

So I picked up the phone, scanned the list, and made some calls. Collect calls. Apparently they didn’t share my views on the importance of democracy, because even thought I tried to read them my prepared speech, none of them accepted the charges. Commie bastards.

(This post is part of a multi-part series aimed at helping distract me from the stress of election day, though this particular post fails in that regard.)


Blogger the frog princess said...

Collect calls?

You are officially my hero.

November 4, 2008 at 1:44:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think a little pee came out. just a little.

November 4, 2008 at 3:43:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Prophet said...

If someone had accepted the charges, it would have made it all the more interesting to say that last little bit about "This phone call was paid for by McCain/Palin 2008." By accepting the phone call they would be contributing to the republican party and seeing a immediate and direct return of that contribution, solidifying their reason to consider McCain as the correct candidate to vote for. Not only messing with their head, but turning back on you, because subconsciously (in an ironic conspiricy twist) you fell into the proper response from the original email sent to you, that is to call these folks by collect call.

Fortunately/Unfortunately for you the entire plot was foiled unknowingly by the citizens you tried to contact.

ok. done.

November 4, 2008 at 5:04:00 PM EST  
Anonymous prophet said...

Upon reading that, I realize that comment was:
1. Bizarre
2. Slightly disjointed
3. Not stalkerish enough.

Long time reader, First time commenter.


November 4, 2008 at 5:11:00 PM EST  
Blogger Vishaka Natascha Gleeson said...

Wait, I'm confused, were you making the calls to piss people off even further about what a douchebag McCain is or are you a republican bastard?

November 4, 2008 at 11:15:00 PM EST  

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