Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Some Post-Election Thoughts

• My mom’s reaction: “Yeah!!!! By the way, new movie coming. Slumdog Millionaire. Looks fantastic.”

Ohio totally stole Florida’s thunder by going for Obama first. The whole reason I moved down here was so my vote could count, and by the time Florida was called the whole thing was an afterthought. Now what? I just live down here for the beach and no state income tax? Really?

• Much like Jon Stewart, I’m having trouble living in a world without election news, voting ads, and poll numbers.

• Something that needs fixing ASAP: Microsoft Word’s spellchecker still suggests “Osama” for “Obama.” He’s the president-elect for Christ’s sake.

• The cover from the British newspaper The Sun of Super Obama charging to the rescue is both ridiculously over-the-top and kind of ridiculously awesome.

• Oprah Winfrey in the crowd at Obama’s victory celebration was amazing. More than anything she seemed terrified at being surrounded by so many people. When a random woman touched her shoulder in celebration, the look on Oprah’s face was like, “What just happened? No one’s touched me since 2003.”

• I know it’s not McCain’s fault that everyone booed at the mention of Barack Obama during his concession speech, but you know what they say about d-bags of a feather . . .

• Stop the fucking presses. CNN has hologram technology? When the hell did this happen?

Here is a list of people who, to the best of my knowledge, don’t have hologram technology: NASA, the U.S. Army, Microsoft, and China. In fact, the only people who might have hologram technology are aliens. And now CNN. Unless CNN is run by aliens, I’m a bit blown away here.

• In other CNN technology news, John King loves that touch screen. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has one installed in his home, and when the maid comes over he gives an interactive presentation on how he wants her to clean the house. “See this here?” (taps bedroom, enlarges screen, circles under the bed) “That’s a dust bunny.”

• The AP reports that Obama will immediately start receiving highly classified intelligence briefings. I can’t even imagine how cool this must be. Just imagine him sitting there like, “Holy shit, that monkey hosting the news in China is working as a spy for us? I never knew!”

• I’m not gonna lie: Different time, different place, Campbell Brown and I could have been very happy.

• Not only did Brooke and I have some awesome Hope SexTM last night, but I brewed some delicious Hope CoffeeTM this morning and made us a couple of Hope SandwichesTM, too. And I’m sure we weren’t the only ones. I predict that in nine months, blue states everywhere will experience a sudden influx of Hope BabiesTM, meaning that Democrats have the 2028 election IN THE BAG!


Blogger the gazelle said...

I, too, had Hope Sex! However, I can pretty much guarantee that there will be no Hope Babies - unless Hope is stronger than birth control.

November 5, 2008 at 2:22:00 PM EST  
Blogger Arielle said...

Have you seen the SNL skit making fun of the touch screens? It's awesome. Also, I was wondering whether Oprah REALLY was amongst the masses last night. I would have thought she'd have her own box seats somehow.

November 5, 2008 at 2:31:00 PM EST  
Blogger ACollegeStudent said...

I have no one to have Hope Sex with :(

Also, *that's* really the cover of The Sun? I find it funny that the bottom says, "Pages 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 32&33." Because, you know, they couldn't have just put a hyphen between the 2 and the 9, they had to draw it out.

And I'm with arielle, I'm surprised she didn't have her own throne and people carrying her. Like pallbearers, but with less death and less creepy.

November 5, 2008 at 2:36:00 PM EST  
Blogger the frog princess said...

Was it just me, or was Oprah actually *hiding* behind some guy the whole time? Maybe she was afraid to be seen in public without an entourage.

November 5, 2008 at 2:56:00 PM EST  
Blogger Candy said...

I thought it looked more like she was leaning on him. And I was like, isn't that what Stedman is for?

November 5, 2008 at 3:24:00 PM EST  
Blogger Maxine Dangerous said...

I believe the Hope Babies thing too. As well as an influx in the popularity of girls named Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. :)

November 5, 2008 at 3:26:00 PM EST  
Blogger Red said...

Microsoft does have hologram technology. Just FYI.

November 5, 2008 at 3:49:00 PM EST  
Blogger Dan said...

Wait a second. Was Oprah a hologram?

November 5, 2008 at 4:13:00 PM EST  
Blogger kyle said...

Wolf lied. It wasn't a hologram - just synced cameras to create the illusion. Wolf couldn't see the person, they were just added onto the image later.

November 5, 2008 at 4:54:00 PM EST  
Blogger Andy said...

I know it’s not McCain’s fault that everyone booed at the mention of Barack Obama during his concession speech, but you know what they say about d-bags of a feather . . .

If McCain had won, Chicago would now be known as the Third City. Careful in your glass house there...

November 5, 2008 at 5:16:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A little off topic here, but I noticed the Palahniuk recommendation in your side panel, and I have to say - whatever you do, do NOT read "Guts".

It was quite literally torture. A little TOO well written.

November 5, 2008 at 9:44:00 PM EST  
Blogger KH9107 said...

I thought the hologram thing was pretty amazing too. I only saw Will.I.Am on it though and thought he was a bit lame.

November 6, 2008 at 2:26:00 PM EST  
Anonymous UrbanVox said...

hay... has everyone had hope sex but me???? :(

BTW... come pimp my blog!!#There'll be prizes... ;)

November 6, 2008 at 9:04:00 PM EST  
Anonymous prophet said...

The only other person i know who has hologram technology is Darth Vader.


November 6, 2008 at 10:17:00 PM EST  
Blogger Poodle said...

i still can't believe that cooper interviewed that hologram with a straight face

November 6, 2008 at 10:42:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today - Nov. 7 - is Dan's birthday!!

November 7, 2008 at 2:59:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was having very similar thoughts about Campbell Brown on election night.

When my mind wandered to boning a hologram Campbell, I knew it was time for bed.

November 10, 2008 at 6:42:00 PM EST  
Blogger rvega said...

The CNN broadcast was ridiculously awesome. John and his touch screen, Wolf and his beard, Anderson and his slivery-ness, the hologram, all were fantastic. You and my spouse would get along - he also has a soft spot for Campbell...and Soledad O'Brien. Maybe I better see what he's watching right now...

November 20, 2008 at 12:31:00 PM EST  
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