Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Worst Fashion Statement* of 2008: CNN Shirts

Feeling pigeonholed by everyone’s expectations to merely receive news from around the globe, in 2008 CNN decided to branch out.

Their editors got together and said, “What else do people like besides the news?” The answer, of course, is drugs. And t-shirts. People love drugs and t-shirts. And being the stodgy company that they are, CNN decided to go with the shirts.

But wait! “How about,” the associate editor with a penchant for bragging of his proclivity for wordplay says, “- how about we put the headlines on the t-shirts. I mean, American Apparel doesn’t have any words on their shirts and they sell like hot cakes!”

And thus CNN Shirts was born. At first, CNN decided which particularly witty headlines went on the shirts, such as “Man refuses prostate exam; dies of embarrassment, cancer” or “Asian women seek white, groveling men.” But apparently the public demanded more control over their apparel’s slogans. CNN obliged by putting a little t-shirt icon next to several of their stories. Suddenly, you’re in the fashion driver’s seat: You choose the headline; you choose the color – YOU JUST MADE A T-SHIRT MY FRIEND.

File this under “Ideas that sounded good at the time,” because what the hell are you going to do with a t-shirt that says “Grieving mom gives sight to stranger”? Is that really a conversation starter? “Oh, I see you’re wearing a t-shirt about a women who presumably donated her dead child’s eyes to science. Tell me more.” In fact, I have decided to make it my mission for 2009 to bring an end to CNN Shirts. I don’t know how I’ll do it, trying to convince millions of people not to buy an preposterously lame product with what little money they have left in their savings, but dammit I’m up to the challenge.

* Get it? Statement?


Blogger the gazelle said...

Let me know how I can help. It might be better if the t-shirt icons were next to something actually amusing like "Gaza relief boat 'rammed' by Israeli vessel" instead of "job hunters get free beer, resume tips"

Actually - I'm not sure anything would help.

December 30, 2008 at 9:07:00 PM EST  
Blogger Not The Rockefellers said...

I think you should take The SNL approach and just milk the hell out of it. Make pants, ties, boxers, onesies, Mom Jeans...hell, make CNN Depends even. Just beat the crud out of the idea and it will die the horrible death it deserves.

December 30, 2008 at 9:19:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was so sure that the first ad I saw for these things was satire.

I'm still not convinced it wasn't.

December 31, 2008 at 9:30:00 AM EST  
Blogger Chelsea McNabb said...

What were they thinking.

January 8, 2009 at 10:49:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A片,A片,A片,A片,A片,A片情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品.情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,視訊聊天室,情趣,情趣用品,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣麻將,台灣彩卷,六合彩開獎號碼,運動彩卷,六合彩,遊戲,線上遊戲,cs online,搓麻將,矽谷麻將,明星三缺一, 橘子町,麻將大悶鍋,台客麻將,公博,game,,中華職棒,麗的線上小遊戲,國士無雙麻將,麻將館,賭博遊戲,威力彩,威力彩開獎號碼,龍龍運動網,史萊姆,史萊姆好玩遊戲,史萊姆第一個家,史萊姆好玩遊戲區,樂透彩開獎號碼,遊戲天堂,天堂,好玩遊戲,遊戲基地,無料遊戲王,好玩遊戲區,麻將遊戲,好玩遊戲區,小遊戲,電玩快打情趣用品,情趣,A片,AIO,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,寄情竹園小遊戲,色情遊戲,AIO交友愛情館,色情影片,情趣內衣,情趣睡衣,性感睡衣,情趣商品,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室 ,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園,080苗栗人聊天室,080聊天室,視訊交友網,視訊借錢,黃金,黃金回收,黃金價格,黃金買賣,當舖,中古車,二手車A片,A片,成人網站,成人影片,色情,情色網,情色,AV,AV女優,成人影城,成人,色情A片,日本AV,免費成人影片,成人影片,SEX,免費A片,A片下載,免費A片下載,做愛,情色A片,色情影片,H漫,A漫,18成人,情色電影,自拍,成人電影a片,色情影片,情色電影,a片,色情,情色網,情色,av,av女優,成人影城,成人,色情a片,日本av,免費成人影片,成人影片,情色a片,sex,免費a片,a片下載,免費a片下載,成人網站,做愛,自拍A片,A片,A片下載,做愛,成人電影,18成人,日本A片,情色小說,情色電影,成人影城,自拍,情色論壇,成人論壇,情色貼圖,情色,免費A片,成人,成人光碟18成人,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人影片,成人文章,成人小說,微風成人區,成人交友,成人文學,成人漫畫,成人遊戲,免費成人影片 ,成人論壇,愛情公寓,情色,色情網站,情色A片,色情小說,情色文學

May 1, 2009 at 11:21:00 PM EDT  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home