Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Here’s Something That Ruined My Lunch

Because Brooke and I both work from home, making the most of our alone time is a key component to the relationship. So when Brooke goes out for a work meeting I go into full carpe diem man mode, a.k.a. SportsCenter mode, a.k.a. sometimes watching reruns of “One Tree Hill” on the Soap Network mode. (Don’t judge, Puppy likes them.)

So today, Brooke left around 12:30. I immediately cracked a beer, warmed up some leftover steak fajita, and sat down on the couch. I turned on SportsCenter and Puppy went into the bedroom, so then I put on “One Tree Hill” and he came back and jumped up on the couch with me. (Seriously, he loves Sophia Bush.)

Then right before I took my first bite of fajita, this commercial came on.

THAT GREEN?! Ladies, I love you and all of your womanly charms. But if you’ve got Sherwood Forest coming out of your hoo-ha, I think it’s safe to say that the time for screening kits of well past. Please go to a doctor and stop ruining my lunch.

P.S. This is what I get for watching the Soap Network.

P.P.S. What color on there isn’t a yeast infection?

P.P.S. Nevermind, I don’t want to know.


Anonymous Anna said...

I'm ASSUMING (never had one, knock on wood) that the, uh, discharge, isn't leafy veggie green. It's testing the pH of everything down there. Greener pH strips mean the acidity levels are off.

Happy lunching!

March 10, 2009 at 2:42:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Painkiller Jane said...

HA! I used that test thingie once before because I thought I had one of "those infections," and it turned out okay, but I remember thinking, "If this thing comes out green, I'm going to plug it up and never use it again."

March 10, 2009 at 5:04:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Painkiller Jane said...

Also, I just this second saw this video & thought of you...FOR SOME REASON...


March 10, 2009 at 5:09:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Painkiller Jane. That is the most awesome contest prize ever!

March 10, 2009 at 6:26:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like Puppy, I also love me some Sophia Bush. She looks exactly like a girl I dated (read "screwed") in high school/college. Makes me nostalgic and also a little disappointed that I'm past the stage in my life where I'll ever be scoring Sophia Bush-quality tail ever again. Puppy, I tip my hat to thee as you have good taste.

March 11, 2009 at 3:56:00 PM EDT  
Blogger the frog princess said...

Anna's got it right.

Also, when a woman is pregnant, her urine isn't blue, despite the colour the test shows.

Disappointing, I know...

March 12, 2009 at 12:36:00 PM EDT  
Blogger bernthis said...

oh please tell me this spot is limited to the Soap channel. You know, green USED to be my favorite color.

March 13, 2009 at 1:31:00 AM EDT  

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