Friday, May 8, 2009

It’s Perfectly Normal for Couples to Use Pet Names

(Last night. In bed. Me: curled up facing away from Brooke, nearly asleep. Brooke rolls over and wraps her arm around me in a cuddling embrace. Immediately, she begins fidgeting: stretching, cracking knuckles, scratching, jostling me about.)

Me: “Cuddling with you is like cuddling with a rabid wolf.”
Brooke: “How would you know?”
Me: “I know wolves, Wolfy.”
Brooke: “Whatever, Sweat Burp1.”
Me: “Really? You’re trying to make Sweat Burp stick? Good luck, Pickles2.”
Brooke: “Don’t get all C.O.M.B.y3 on me.”
Me: “There’s no such word as C.O.M.B.y. You can’t make an acronym an adjective.”
Brooke: “Sure you can.”
Me: “Like A.I.D.S.y?”
Brooke: “Have you seen Tom lately? He been looking a little A.I.D.S.y.”
Me: “That baggy dress looks really A.I.D.S.y on you. Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Brooke: “Of course I am.”

___________________________________
1 A few nights prior I burped while eating a particularly spicy burrito, thus grossing Brooke out by sweating and burping at the same time.

2 Referencing Brooke’s habit of incessantly picking at her nails.

3 Standing for Cranky Old Man Baby, something Brooke once designated me for complaining about a lack of cookies in the house.

Important Note: That is a picture of a band called AIDS Wolf. What?

16 Comments:

Blogger danielle970 said...

Dude, you totally just made me laugh after a nasty spat with my mother. Ask any girl--that's a borderline god-like ability.

May 8, 2009 at 12:51:00 PM EDT  
Blogger headbang8 said...

Cranky old man baby. Usually that's about something more than cookies.

May 8, 2009 at 2:03:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Meg said...

AIDS Wolf? Perhaps they're responsible for the Swine Flu fan page.

May 8, 2009 at 2:35:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous juniperjune said...

like Air Wolf but with AIDS??

May 8, 2009 at 2:46:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Greta said...

I'm stealing ALL of them. There really just isn't enough creative ones anymore.

May 8, 2009 at 2:48:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Greta said...

And I'm diggin the side mullet on that aids wolf.

May 8, 2009 at 2:49:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Native Minnow said...

Could someone please tell the hipsters that it's no longer cool to name your band wolf anything? That is sooo 2007-08. Thank you.

May 8, 2009 at 3:18:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Native Minnow said...

Also, A.I.D.S.y might be my second favorite word, right after rapey, which I also learned here.

May 8, 2009 at 3:19:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Headbang, clearly you don't know how much Dan likes cookies.

May 8, 2009 at 5:19:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Faith said...

Well, they do collectively have a lot of hair...

May 8, 2009 at 5:21:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Scottsdale Girl said...

Because if she ate a lot of pickles that would be too obvious of a reference...

Captcha: CONSTATY

No lie.

May 8, 2009 at 6:56:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Chris said...

I like the visual of cuddling with a rabid wolf. Can't imagine it's THAT bad. Cute, kids.

May 9, 2009 at 9:24:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Melissa said...

I have no idea what I googled to fall onto your blog... but I was cracking up at this post. Funny stuff.

May 11, 2009 at 10:35:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

weird, AIDS Wolf are a local band (Montreal), with not a huge following. I was a little confounded to see them on your blog, until I read the post.

er, the singer is very nice, despite their awful, awful name.

Their music is terrible.

May 17, 2009 at 5:49:00 PM EDT  
Blogger G said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

May 26, 2009 at 2:33:00 PM EDT  
Blogger The Politic's Chick said...

Oh, I love stumbling across new blogs. Reading this made me laugh while spitting out tiny red pieces of Twizzler.

May 26, 2009 at 2:35:00 PM EDT  

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