Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Million Dollar Idea #4

“pregnancy

If there is one thing that New York has taught me it’s that you have to fight for what you believe in. Like when Brooke and I moved into our new apartment in Miami and found out that our assigned parking spot was on the sixth floor, and, after driving around the parking garage levels a total of once decided that this would not do, I went to the person in charge and, while not exactly saying that I am a doctor, did tell them that I was on call for my job very often and would need to enter and exit the building much faster, all of which is not a lie due to the fact that sometimes my work calls and asks me to do things, which, I believe, is the definition of being “on call.” So now our parking spot is on the second floor of the garage, all because I heeded the fourth rule of Fight Club, which is always follow your dreams wherever they may fly.

And if there’s one other thing that New York has taught me, it’s that there’s apparently no such thing as “enough money.” Like when millionaires sit around at The Elk Lodge drinking $100 glasses of scotch and talking about the future, they’re never like, “$100,000,000,000,000.00 is enough for me!” Because then someone goes and buys Central Park for $200,000,000,000,000.00 and everyone’s like “You rascal! That should have been me!”

So while the Miami sunshine may have tempered my cut throat capitalistic sensibilities, my recent trip to New York has revived them with a vengeance, leading to the rebirth of my Million Dollar Idea series. Though none of my previous ideas have panned out, that’s not the point of entrepreneurship. It’s about ideas that serve the common good by identifying an underserved area of society and then coming up with a product or service that they will overpay for due to a misconstrued sense of need and an unidentifiable feeling of emptiness that can only be filled by accumulating well-marketed goods.

And you know what consumer base is totally untapped? Women who think they’re pregnant but don’t want to be.

Consider this: most pregnancy test companies market their products with pictures of smiling women and commercials where husbands and wives jump into each others arms like “We did it! I inseminated you!”

But in most of my personal friends’ experiences, not being knocked up is the winning outcome. Which is why I’ll introduce The Joy Stick™, a home pregnancy test made specifically for women whose positive outcome is a negative one. (Possible slogan?) So instead of + or –, these would have things like smiley faces, or cute phrases like “You win!” or “Not again!” or “Dodged that bullet!”

“pregnancy

And the best part about them is that while they are highly entertaining, they are also totally vague. So women will need to take two or three tests to figure out if they’re pregnant or not, thereby bolstering sales. But most importantly, they’ll be having fun while they do it, sharing it with their girlfriends, etc.

I don’t know about you guys, but I got a feeling that this is it, the idea that will finally make me as rich as this cat, who is apparently wealthy enough to hire a deer to bathe him.

If only!

See Also:
Million Dollar Idea #3
Million Dollar Idea #2

Million Dollar Idea #1

5 Comments:

Blogger A Lil' Irish Lass said...

I'll take a Baker's dozen.

[Insert requisite "bun in the oven" joke here].

July 22, 2009 at 12:11:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a gag one that always says your pregnant? Imagine it.

July 22, 2009 at 5:06:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Liberal Banana said...

Oh my god, this is brilliant! I would totally buy this! Although, I hope I would never have to...If I got pregnant even while still religiously taking birth control, you would hear my screams from 4 states away.

I saw a commercial for that fertility test stick that one of the major preggers test companies is selling and although I don't want kids, I totally wanted to buy it. That way I could find out if we need to be taking extra steps to not get pregnant, like make my man wear tighty whities and soak in our hot tub for 4 hours a night. (Ooh, this could make for a good post.)

July 23, 2009 at 11:47:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, do you have archives of your book recommendations?? I am headed to the beach and need some ideas for beach reading. By the way, you're awesome!! I love your blog :)

July 23, 2009 at 3:22:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Allison Hatfield said...

that cat must be really salty

July 25, 2009 at 11:11:00 AM EDT  

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