Thursday, August 27, 2009

Hey Ladies, I've Found the Man of Your Dreams. Literally!

craigslist missed connection dream
(Click to enlarge)

Now I'm in no position to judge the ways in which a man goes about finding the love of his life. I've wrangled up girls from bars, state colleges, and, most recently, my blog. I once even went out with a girl after my friend yelled at her and her friend off my fire escape as they walked by. (She was prettier from one story up.) But I'm fairly positive that of all the ways a man can meet a woman, posting a lengthy missed connection ad on Craigslist with a Sixth Sense-type surprise ending for a woman who doesn't even exist is definitely the worst way.

That being said, I made a new year's resolution and I'm sticking to it. Granted it was new year's 2008 and I've made no attempt whatsoever to stick to it until right now, but like my grandfather always said, there's no expiration date on not being an asshole.

craigslist missed connection dream

Dear Dream Man,

This is truly a miraculous! I have envisioned the same dream you envision many times. Each detail is the similar – the bar coins, "Ludicrous" and the beautiful woman who appears as a more tan

Mikal from Wristcutters (my favorite band!)

Often I wake up from this dream in a heavy sweating, transfixtured on the mysterious woman who vanishes from my life (just like you!). I hope someday to meet her and to marry her, because of course I am the lesbian, who shares your dream of a goddess on the earth, who is in a dream, but hopefully on earth too.

I am glad we could share this dream.



OpenID peterdewolf said...

You and I should sit down some time to discuss how you managed to wrangle THE girl through your blog.

I may be blogging wrong.

August 27, 2009 at 2:47:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Beach Bum said...

Please tell me you actually sent this!!!

And totally give us his reply!

(Let's not even go into why you are browsing the missed connection sites...)

August 27, 2009 at 3:11:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Phatchik said...

I grew up in Coral Springs. My sincerest sorry.

August 27, 2009 at 3:41:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Brooke said...

Um, why were you browsing missed connections? Seriously.

August 27, 2009 at 3:58:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Jason E Perkins said...

Uh-oh! Spaghetti O's!

August 27, 2009 at 4:34:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Rachel said...

Jason, your comment made me laugh/snort. Well played!

August 27, 2009 at 6:19:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Scottsdale Girl said...

Missed Connection is a plethora of blog fodder!

August 27, 2009 at 6:49:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Andi said...

Entries like this are the reason your blog is the first page I visit daily.

Please keep up your resolution- just inform Brooke first. We wouldn't want the TMI sex posts to disappear...

August 28, 2009 at 3:59:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had no idea that the MC section existed. Now I'm hooked. Had to share this.

August 28, 2009 at 4:37:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

Hey Dan,

Someone else's website with a less altruistic spin on your idea:


September 3, 2009 at 10:50:00 AM EDT  

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