I know you all probably have some questions, as well you should. I figure we could either all go into an online chat room and sort this out 1998-style (Ok, who brought the pedophile!), or I could curate a sampling of the most common questions and concerns and preemptively address them here. So let's get down to it.
How was your Christmas?
It was lovely! Brooke got me an antique tie clip that everyone compliments me on. I know I'm a little late to the Mad Men fashion party, but if you ask me, not dipping your tie in your soup never goes out of style.
Where have you been, asshole?
Oh right. That. Well I guess we should just get this out of the way. I know I disappeared. And not like a magician, although if that's what you want to tell your friends I'll back you up. No, I disappeared more like a fun-loving though inherently flawed dad from a broken family who is either a loose-cannon police officer, semi-pro rock guitarist, or race car driver. And I promise it won't happen again. Until it does, and then we'll all offici
I've heard rumors that you are no longer living in
Yes, the Internet got that one right.
Why did you leave?
There comes a time in every man's life when he has to decide if he's ready to get busy living or get busy drinking mojitos for lunch. Luckily that time never came for me, because my favorite flavor of mojito is Lunch Mojito. Instead, that decision was made for me when Brooke and I got the news in early December that we were being called back to the Big Apple for work reasons. We spent most of December in
You know, I'm still mad at you.
I know. I feel like that prostitute who does everything but kiss, but only so she can put herself through law school. Then when she fin
What the hell does that even mean?
I'm sorry. It means I'm sorry.
You make it so hard to stay mad at you. Do you at least have a place to live?
Yes, I do. After an exhaustive search that involved at least ten real estate brokers, thirty-five apartment viewings, and over six hundred mini-strokes, Brooke and I found a great one-bedroom in
You know when you hear stories about people who have an unbelievable deal on an apartment? Like their elderly neighbor died and no one noticed until one day they caught a whiff of something awful? So they went in and disposed of the body, stole their identity, and have been living in a rent-controlled junior four ever since? Well now I'M THAT GUY. Except the previous tenant didn't die, she just moved to London, which is re
How do you feel about being back in
I know that when I left New York two years ago I was pretty excited to be leaving a place where I actu
How is Puppy handling the transition?
The beauty of Puppy is that he hates all seasons equ
So what now?
I guess we get back to this blogging thing. Sure, it's about as cultur
The other night I was walking home from the gym at a pretty brisk pace when out of the corner of my eye I spotted what appeared to be a cat slowly ambling across the sidewalk towards a mound of trash bags. I didn't re
Unfortunately at this point I was so close to the thing that I was committed to walking right past it, which WAS NOT an option because the thing's tail was probably a foot long and clearly if it touched me I would die. The only thing to do was vault it, which sounds athletic and cool but in practice looks more like a little girl skipping over a puddle. So there I was, a grown man covered in post-gym sweat dandily leaping over an enormous rodent who was on its way to a pile of garbage. Bottom line: It's nice to know that after all this time